


diving too deep for coins

by 96jeu



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bestfriend Soonyoung, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Wonwoo, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Merman Mingyu, Minor Character Death, References to Depression, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-20 09:24:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18989854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/96jeu/pseuds/96jeu
Summary: Taking a step forward, his entire body shudders, gravity and wind working against him and pushing him towards the dark surface. Tears well up in his eyes, and he wipes them with his sleeve. He sways on his feet.Wonwoo lets his tears drop first.His body follows.





	diving too deep for coins

**Author's Note:**

> hi! it's chyl!  
>   
> here's my last, last minute entry to mermay 2019. i've been trying to come up with something for months, but the terrible slump i was thrown into was undoubtedly the most difficult one i've had so far, and being able to finish this is something i'm proud of and i haven't been able to feel like that about myself in a while...  
>   
> title taken from the song, 'flightless bird, american mouth' by iron & wine  
>   
> un-beta'd, so please forgive the errors... hope you enjoy it :)

It hurts.

That’s the first thing Wonwoo notices when he comes to his senses. His throat burns, there’s imprints of an orange sun blearing behind his eyelids, and he faintly registers water washing through his toes.

This makes him shoot up, the complaints of a sudden surge of brightness from the sun forgotten as his fear of the waves suddenly rising and consuming him overpowers it.

Taking a look around, he sees nothing but rocks. The ones further away from him turn the blue waves white as it crashes into them; the sight alone has him crawling away, slightly thankful that he wasn’t in those parts, just the image of being slammed into jagged rocks by angry waters sends a shiver down his spine. He turns around, and the silhouette of the palace looms above his line of sight.

He cringes, realizing he must be in the kingdom’s shoreline, a few miles away from the outer ring, where he lived.

It’s gonna be a hell of a walk back.

Standing up, he looks back at the sea, and gets an unfamiliar feeling of being reeled in.

He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t even recall how he got here.

But it certainly felt like he’s been breathing water a few moments ago.

He coughs, jostling his sore ribs until he’s cradling it with his hand, stepping back from whatever the hell it is seemingly pulling him towards his fear, and walks, well, _limps,_ away.

 

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo leans against the first house he stumbles upon, finally breaching the kingdom’s territory after walking what felt like an acre of desert, the sun burning his nape and rendering his already dry throat even drier.

His muscles are throbbing from overuse, and he knows it couldn’t have been just from walking, it felt like he was fighting for his life beforehand.

Why can’t he remember what happened?

He winces, holding himself upright and wracking his mind for anything that could’ve happened prior to waking up by the sea, but getting nothing except for flashes of bottles filled with liquor and boisterous laughter from equally drunken strangers.

All of which happened in the pub, which was in the center of the outer ring. Nowhere close to where he woke up in.

Shaking his head, he pushes himself off the wall and continues limping along, earning a few questioning glances on the way, but he doesn’t care about any of it.

They don’t either, he’s just a novelty to behold right now, so it’s only fair.

He finds himself in front of the pub again, eyebrows furrowing in confusion when he sees someone familiar with his head hung low, napping in front of the establishment.

What the hell? He could be robbed out here.

(Not like they’d be able to take anything, anyway. But this is his friend’s safety we’re talking about.)

“Soonyoung.”

The boy shoots up, eyes going comically wide and stumbling to get up, “Wonwoo, what the hell? What happened to your eye?”

“What the hell is right,” Wonwoo grunts as Soonyoung collides with him in a hug, crushing his already aching muscles together, he pushes the boy a fraction away, “Ow, shit, easy there buddy, and what do you mean what happened to my eye?”

“You have a cut over here,” Soonyoung runs his thumb over Wonwoo’s left eyebrow, and there’s a searing pain suddenly shooting up his face, making him lean away from Soonyoung completely, “sorry, it’s pretty deep.”

God, how many injuries did he endure before he had his brain wiped-out?

“Did you get into a fight?” Soonyoung eyes him carefully, following his movements and offering a hand when Wonwoo staggers backward.

“No,” Wonwoo sighs, “I don’t know.”

“Oh God, where have you even _been_? You’ve been gone for almost a day,” Soonyoung frowns, and Wonwoo accepts the assistance his friend provides when he stumbles forward, his arm going over Soonyoung’s shoulders, “your family, they were looking for you.”

_Were they?_

Wonwoo laughs bitterly, leaning his weight on Soonyoung who acknowledges how he reacted, sighing and hoisting Wonwoo up.

They stay silent as they walk together, the only sound is Soonyoung huffing about how heavy Wonwoo is, and Wonwoo whining when Soonyoung moves him too much.

When the alleys start getting narrower, a gloom appears on Wonwoo’s face. His footsteps get heavier, slower, and Soonyoung takes notice immediately, “Won…”

“I don’t want to go home yet.” Wonwoo closes his eyes, “I don’t want to see them.”

“Okay,” Soonyoung sighs, and when they turn into a different street he speaks again, “I was so worried about you. Don’t do that again.”

“I know, I know.” Soonyoung adjusts his grip again, Wonwoo winces, “I’m sorry.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.”

 

 

 

 

 

It’s so unlike him, to disappoint Soonyoung, out of all people.

Never mind if it were his brothers, who knew nothing but be disappointed of him; obvious in the way they look at him through their peripherals as if he were a madman, the grief that consumes him a bother to their taste, visible in a way that could never manifest in them.

Because they were vain, and they never cared –not enough to matter, anyway.

So, in the most understandable of reactions, Wonwoo feels the urge to leave immediately when he got home the next morning.

Unlike the overflowing relief that Soonyoung displayed upon seeing him, he’s met with a single glance from his younger brother before he all but stomped out, announcing his arrival to their eldest brother, who emerges from the single room they shared (a stuffy space with a double bed, which his eldest brother reigned upon when _she_ died. Wonwoo never liked that place, never slept in it, and now that he’s thought of it, he doesn’t really like _any_ part of this house, not without _her_ ), before walking over to him.

“Where have you been?”

“Why do you care?”

His brother, Wonho, only tilts his head, and before Wonwoo could even register what the gesture meant, he’s thrown back by a slap laid on his cheek.

Something drips on the side of his face, and his fingers come back scarlet when he touches it; the cut above his eyebrow which Soonyoung stitched up undoubtedly open again.

“You don’t get to talk back at me, baby brother.” Wonho grabs his arm, pulling his lanky frame upright and bringing them face to face, “Not after I came home last night and found–“

“You came home last night?!” Wonwoo laughed, his tone bordering hysterics as he mocked his brother, “Boy, that’s a first. Didn’t even think you lived here anymore. How’d you find your way back?”

“You watch your tone.”    

“Or what?” Wonwoo challenged, “You’re gonna hit me again?”

Wonwoo tries to break from him, but his brother only grits his teeth and tightens his grip on him.

“You bet your ass I’d beat you up you disrespectful fuck, mom isn’t here to be your buffer anymore.”

Wonwoo winces, hurt beyond the bruises forming on his cheeks and forearm, hurt with how casual it is for his brother to mention their mother’s death.

As if it didn’t matter.

As if _she_ didn’t matter.

Wonwoo wanted to spit in his face.

“You know,” Wonwoo starts, glaring at his brother and still trying to twist his arm away, “I liked it better when you weren’t in the picture.”

He’s pushed away so suddenly he loses his balance, falling towards the bench behind him, the object crashing loudly against the wall and hitting Wonwoo’s bruised ribs.

Wonwoo groans, but before he could even stand there’s a foot pressed against his side, kicking him down. Tender pain spreads through his torso like fire, and blood fights its way up his throat until he coughs it out, crawling away from his brother in a futile attempt to save himself.

There’s a kick to his calf, making him plop down to the dusty floor of the bungalow with a grunt, and the hits just keep coming and coming until Wonwoo couldn’t even pinpoint a part of his body where it didn’t hurt.

It only stops when something crashes on the floor behind them, the sound distracting his brother long enough for Wonwoo to get in a crouching position, thankful for whatever it is that caused the noise.

Raising his head, his swollen eyes get a glimpse of what he thinks is his younger brother hiding, a book haphazardly lying across him, as if he’d thrown it to the wall.

He coughs, eyes widening in horror knowing that Wooseok just witnessed him being hit hard enough to draw blood –through his lips, his nose, and the cuts littering his body– but his brother only hides further upon seeing the almost grateful look Wonwoo sends him.

Wonho looks at him again, maybe to send another hit, but Wonwoo has already stood up and limped away to the door; now tauntingly glaring at his brother, daring him to follow him out the door and expose his sadism to the busy flood of onlookers outside.

“I’m not done with you yet, Wonwoo.”

“Are you ever?”

His brother sneers, and Wonwoo takes the opportunity to stumble outside, running away from their house with blood dripping down his chin, mixing with tears that unknowingly spilled from his eyes.

He needs a drink.

Soonyoung’s gonna be so disappointed.

 

 

 

 

 

The sounds in the pub are a relentless cacophony.

There’s a band playing what’s supposed to be music on Wonwoo’s left, and where he’s seated near the counter there are about ten men lined up and talking rather loudly, together with about seven tables full of drunk and rowdy fellow. And though Wonwoo’s always hated noise, he supposes it was a small price to pay for the mindlessness alcohol provides him.

Wonwoo was minding his own business until there’s an elbow nudged to his side, making him wince. “Had another brawl, didn’t ya lad?”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo takes a sip of beer, and it burns the cuts on his lip, “I’ve been getting in a lot of those haven’t I?”

“That you have.”

The fact that these people could just strike up a conversation with him even just to talk about his ‘brawls’ is a testament to how much he’s been here. Maybe Soonyoung’s right to be worried.

“Makes you braver than most of us,” The man on his left says as he slams his glass down, “I wouldn’t put my fists up against anyone unless necessary. I’d rather be,” He pats his stomach, “Growin’ ma’ belly.”

A chorus of laughs follow the statement, sounds of agreement roaring behind Wonwoo; and he smiles, but doesn’t say anything else.

Wonwoo doesn’t think he’s brave, not when he doesn’t even choose his battles, he’s just tossed into them or, more accurately, he walks right in them. He doesn’t even fight back, all he does is scram when given the opportunity.

He sighs, and it’s the only soft sound present in the noise of the pub, before tipping his head back to finish his first (but most certainly not last) mug of beer.

 

 

 

 

 

There’s a burble underneath Wonwoo, but the haze of his senses barely registers it as he trips on his feet, the alcohol finally settled and clouding his mind. He knows it’s dusk, knows there are a million bright stars glinting right above his head in a beautiful light show, but he can’t bring himself to look up.

Instead, he looks below; where the peaceful blue of the sea is disrupted by the white of wave meeting rock. The darkness, the depth, pulling him in despite his fear. He’s a ratty scarecrow atop the steep cliff, blown backwards and forward by the wind, his feet hurting from the sharp pebbles underneath it.

He wriggles his toes and scoffs. They’re the only parts of him that haven’t been cut open by taking hits from his angry brother, but he’s ripping them right up with walking up the cliff by the sea, the one he remembers being scared of earlier.

He isn’t scared anymore.

Taking a step forward, his entire body shudders, gravity and wind working against him and pushing him towards the dark surface. Tears well up in his eyes, and he wipes them with his sleeve. He sways on his feet.

Wonwoo lets his tears drop first.

His body follows.

He pitches into the air with a gasp, and before he knows it, he’s falling down the water.

He tries to hold on to the ledge, regret running through him at the thought of Soonyoung’s tearful face and Wooseok being alone, but his fingers only graze the rock.

A scream rips through his throat, piercing the air only for a second before he breaks the water.

And he sinks.

He’s alarmed by how quick the water swallows him and tries to fight against it, but the cold paralyzes him; his back to the deep end, he’s faced to the sky.

It’s ironic that earlier he refused to look up the stars for hope, but now he has no choice but for it to be the last thing he sees.

He closes his eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo coughs himself awake.

Startled, he sits up and frantically looks around, but he didn’t expect to see the sun rising gracefully in the horizon –pink and purple streaks in the sky being broken by its bright yellow. He didn’t expect to be outside. In fact, he didn’t expect himself to be _alive_.

He starts and places a hand to his chest, before cupping his cheeks and feeling his legs, checking if he had every part of him intact, if he were real. He’s surprised to find that his hands don’t go through him in any way, but he’s most surprised by the fact that he feels none of the tender pain from any of his bruises, nor do any of his wounds sting from the saltwater.

His eyes widen when he feels nothing but smooth skin upon touching his brow.

He scrambles up to stand, and his eyes land on the cliff where he fell just a few hours (minutes? days?) ago, where he saw the full moon surrounded by the stars for the last time before he surrendered to the dark.

Shaking his head, his hand lands on his chest again. His lungs still burn with the imprints of more than air going through them, but any evidence of being kicked to a pulp by his brother was gone.

Wonwoo keeps his eyes on the cliff. He was, he was _there,_ and he jumped into the water.

Wonwoo was there and he decided to _die_.

Granted, he regretted it, but as far as he knows, his regret didn’t stop him from falling. It didn’t stop him from sinking.

So what did?

For the second time, he’s stuck on the shoreline, disoriented and alone, only this time, he knows how he got here, but he wasn’t supposed to be out the water.

“I…” Wonwoo starts, looking around for anyone who could’ve pulled him out.

But he was alone, as he always was, alone and confused and alarmingly healed.

Wonwoo runs his hand through his hair, pulling it in distress. “I’m going insane.”

“I’m,” He looks at the water again, letting out an exasperated exhale, “losing my fucking mind.”

Just then, his eyes start burning, salty tears running rivulets down his cheeks. His frustrated breaths punishing his worked up lungs.

“Why?” He sobs, swiping at his cheeks and looking angrily at the sun, which has finally climbed halfway up the sky, “Why am I alive?”

His knees buckle as his sobs pick up, making Wonwoo sit on the sand and pull his knees up to his chest.

He cries until he thinks the water in his lungs has made it out his tear ducts, until his hands stop shaking, until he feels like this second life isn’t more of a miracle than it is a tidal coincidence.

 

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo walks himself to the streets of the outer ring by midday, his eyes swollen and lips chapped from his teeth biting into them. He walks by the pub, still alive and booming even in the light of day. Soonyoung isn’t there this time, and he’s glad that he doesn’t see him again in this disheveled state, but that doesn’t stop the feeling of guilt gnawing at his chest knowing that he broke a promise.

And that he almost left him.

But he’s still here, and no matter how debilitating his confusion might be he’s not going to waste this second chance on booze anymore.

So he passes the pub, and walks through the crowded streets and towards the comfort of Soonyoung’s house; somewhere he considers more of a _home_ than that house his mother left them.

It’s only been a few months.

Wonwoo doesn’t know how he could take years of her absence.

The doors push open the moment Wonwoo is in sight of the house, Soonyoung coming out with his cheeks stuffed to the brim, making Wonwoo almost laugh.

“Wowu,” Soonyoung manages to say past the food, “wha aya doin’ ‘ere?”

Wonwoo only walks forward and gives him a hug, ignoring his question.

Soonyoung hugs him back, before going stiff in his hold and pulling back. “How are…” His eyes flicker over Wonwoo’s own, “the cut on your brow’s already gone.”

“Yeah?”

“How–“ Comes out as a whisper, but he just shakes his head and lets Wonwoo go, instead pulling him into the house, “You know what, I don’t want to know.”

“What?” Stutters Wonwoo, “Really”

“As long as I don’t find out that you sold your soul to some witch just to get your handsome face back, sure.”

“I didn’t sell my– wait, you think I’m _handsome?”_

“Everyone thinks you’re handsome.” Soonyoung looks back, a mischievous grin on his lips, “You never wondered why those noble girls always offer to teach you shit they learn from their _academy?_ ”

“I thought they were just being nice.”

“Maybe,” Soonyoung shrugs, “or maybe you were just being dense.”

“No I wasn’t.”

“Mhm.” Soonyoung hums when they finally get inside, “And my name’s not Soonyoung.”

Wonwoo punches his shoulder lightly, a chuckle moving past his lips. Soonyoung’s house is warm –from its colors (yellow, like sunlight in the golden hour) to the people inside. It’s decorated sparingly, allowing plenty of leg room, and Wonwoo instantly relaxes upon passing the threshold, his face lighting up when he sees Soonyoung’s mother come out of the kitchen with a small plate filled with bread, smiling lightly at Wonwoo.

“Hello, son,” She greets, putting the plate down, “Come eat, you must be hungry.”

Soonyoung raises his hand before reaching for a piece of bread, “I’m hungry!”

“Shush! Let the guest eat first.” She slaps his hand away.

Soonyoung’s mother reminds him of his own, how sweet and accommodating she was, maybe it’s because she was his mother’s best friend as well. The thought sends a pleasant sort of pain through his chest.

At least there’s someone who reminds him of her in a good way.

“Thank you, auntie.” Wonwoo sits down at the table, Soonyoung flanks him and beats him to eating anyway.

“So,” Soonyoung’s mom starts, shaking her head at her son’s antics, “Soonyoung told me that you stayed here a couple of nights ago?”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo ducks his head in shame, “sorry if I didn’t tell you beforehand.’

“Oh you know it’s never a problem with me, boy.” She ruffles his hair in such a loving way, Wonwoo finds himself blushing a bit, “Was Soonyoung a good host, though? He didn’t starve ya’?”

Soonyoung looks up. “I’m a great host.”

“Well, he’s Soonyoung.” Wonwoo smiles, “I’m sure he did his best.”

“Ah, that worries me.”

“Stop ganging up against me,” Soonyoung protests, “I fixed up your woun–“

The boy trails off, panic in his eyes as he looks at Wonwoo in apology. He knows Wonwoo wouldn’t want to talk about him being hurt.

“His what?” Her eyes travel between the two of them, before staying on Wonwoo, “Were ya’ injured?”

“No I,” Wonwoo gulps, “I just tripped on the way, grazed my knee pretty bad.”

“Oh that isn’t so bad,” She breathes in relief, “You two better be careful next time though. You aren’t little boys anymore. It’s not gonna do you any good with the ladies if you keep tripping over your feet.”

“Ma…” Soonyoung whines.

“Wonwoo’s handsome, though. So I think he’s going to be okay.”

“Wow.” Soonyoung gapes, “That’s it. I’m moving out. You can take Wonwoo in and have him as your son. It’s okay, ma.”

“It would be nice to have a handsome son,” She jokes, “one who won’t eat everything on the table before everyone even gets there.”

Soonyoung looks at Wonwoo, his face saying ’ _I told you everyone thinks you’re handsome’_ before huffing in exaggeration and standing up from the table, “I’m packing my things.”

Wonwoo smiles. He hasn’t smiled this much for a long time, and it’s a good thing he doesn’t notice himself smiling, so he doesn’t stop doing it.

 

 

 

 

 

“What happened to you,” Soonyoung asks when they’re sat on his bed a few minutes later, “when you got home?”

Wonwoo shrugs. He doesn’t know if he should tell Soonyoung about what Wonho did, about going to the pub again despite promising not to, about jumping into the sea where nobody could’ve found him.

He decides against it.

“The usual,” Wonwoo grins, trying to cover up the tremor in his voice, “nothing I couldn’t take.”

Soonyoung doesn’t look like he buys it, but he sighs and pats Wonwoo’s back anyway. And Wonwoo smiles, though not as brightly as he did earlier.

 

 

 

 

 

As much as Wonwoo wanted to stay at Soonyoung’s, he knew that he had to go home sometime, so he decided to do it before Soonyoung went to sleep.

“You sure you can make it alone?” Soonyoung mumbles, his eyes already fluttering from its weight, laying down on his bed and ready to sleep the night away.

Wonwoo chuckles, “It’s only a street away, Soon. Nothing I haven’t done before.”

“If you say so.”

“I say so.”

“Okay,” Soonyoung yawns, pulling the quilt over his shoulders, “be careful.”

“Always am.”

“No you’re not.”

Wonwoo huffs, standing to get out of the room, “Go to sleep, you overgrown mouse.”

“You’re mean,” Soonyoung tries to glare at him, but gives up right away, “G’night.”

“Night.”

Wonwoo shuts the door.

 

 

 

 

“Where have you been?”

Wooseok was sitting inside the house, talking immediately when Wonwoo entered, looking up at him with big, curious eyes.

Wonwoo still hasn’t forgotten what he did, and although he didn’t do more than he could, he felt good knowing that his little brother still cared for him, at the very least.

“Around.” Wonwoo says, kicking the door closed behind him.

“Wonho was–“

“I don’t care about Wonho.”

“And me?” Wooseok suddenly stood up, and when Wonwoo notices that their eyes are _almost_ level with each other he realizes that his little brother isn’t so _little_ anymore. He’s growing up, and it moves Wonwoo to an extent, because soon he’ll have his own opinion and won’t need Wonwoo or their mom to take care of him anymore. “You don’t care about me either?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You act like it.”

“I act like I always do…”

“You never left me alone with Wonho before.”

Wonwoo flinches, he knows what the boy meant. Wonwoo hated his older brother, and while Wooseok didn’t take his sentiment to that extent, he still wasn’t fond of him; the elder’s constant anger and alcoholism something they had to live with until he thought it would be better to go for days at a time.

Those days were freedom for Wonwoo, no bruising or yelling. And comfort for Wooseok, no waiting on the sidelines while he listened to his brother being abused until their mother came to stop them.

They were always together, though together held plenty different definitions for them.

“He won’t hurt you,” Wonwoo whispers, “unlike me, he actually sees you as a brother.”

“Why are you being like this?” Wooseok says, his eyebrows furrowing in a frown, “You act like the only way to deal with everything is to run away from them.”

“What? Like Wonho?”

“ _Hyung,_ ” Wooseok said, his eyes and tone pleading, “I know you’re sad, but–“

“I’m not fucking _sad,”_ Wonwoo whisper-yells, closing the space between them in two short strides, “I’m lost. And every second I spend of every day I just want to shut off and not go on again. Whatever the fuck this is it’s everything _but_ sad. It’s taken away all my capability to be sad. And the terrible thing about it is that you don’t understand!”

_You never do. Only she did. And now she’s gone –God everything hurts._

A silence falls upon them, Wonwoo breathing deeply to keep himself from sobbing, right in front of his little brother, and Wooseok’s frown deepens from his words.

“You’re not the only one who’s allowed to grieve for her,” Wooseok says, stepping away from Wonwoo. In the darkness, he could’ve sworn there’s a tear in his brother’s eyes. “You were her favorite, not her _only_ son. I hope you don’t forget that.”

Wooseok turns to walk away, and there Wonwoo realizes how much he fucked up. The only family who considered him family might not do so anymore because his head’s too thick to get through.

But then Wooseok stops, his shoulders shaking at an inhale before turning to look at Wonwoo again. They stare at each other, and Wonwoo shudders when he almost sees their mother in the soft lines of his brother’s face, almost.

Wooseok sniffs, “She was my mother too.”

Wonwoo grinds his teeth, waiting for Wooseok to leave. The boy shakes his head and finally walks into their room.

When he’s finally out of sight, Wonwoo lets his face fall, the rock in his throat ignored as he lays down on the bench behind him to finally rest.

 

 

 

 

 

His eyes open against his will, they’re swollen and blurry in the darkness, and he wants nothing more than to continue sleeping, but his head is swimming with thoughts and he doesn’t think he can quell them enough to rest again; so he sits up, looking out the window where there’s barely any light passing through.

The sun hasn’t even risen yet.

Wonwoo, despite the gut-wrenching feeling of his brother’s words last night, stands to walk out. And in the emptiness of the dark streets he finds calm.

This place is usually teeming with people, merchants trying to sell their goods and buyers clogging the roads they treat as a market, children running around and causing mayhem wherever they end up, loud yelling of people down the pub, the occasional argument bouncing through the thin walls of the poorly built houses.

But now, Wonwoo finds nobody awake and out. It’s probably four in the morning, and his only company are the occasional alley cats that meow at him from the distance, which he pets and talk to for a while.

“Aren’t you a cute thing?” Wonwoo says, scratching the gray and white cat underneath its chin. It purrs, and Wonwoo’s face breaks out into an easy smile.

“I wish I could take you home,” He says. The cat meows, and Wonwoo pets behind its ear again, “but you probably won’t like it there.”

The cat still presses itself into his hand. “And I don’t have anything to feed you.”

Wonwoo starts to frown, taking back his hand and standing up.

The cat mews, tilting its head at him, “I have to go.”

The cat meows again, this time getting closer and pressing its head against his leg, making Wonwoo smile, “I’ll be back, ok? Stay safe, kitty.”

Wonwoo finally walks away taking the now too familiar path to the place he keeps ending up at.

There’s people getting up and out of their homes now, and Wonwoo, ever so avoidant of human interaction, decides to walk faster to get out of their way, walking barefoot and alone towards the shoreline past the mile of sand.

 

 

 

 

 

The sun’s already up when Wonwoo gets there, and he’s just thankful that the sand doesn’t get hot enough to singe his feet. His nose picks up the salty scent of the air, and contrary to what he expected, he calms down from it. He walks closer to the water and lets the waves touch his toes, the scenery in front of him full of blue; the sleeping water, the cloudless sky, the sails of the royal boat floating far from him, probably moving to another kingdom for official duties.

He sighs, the cold water pushing sand between his toes –the same wounded toes he wiggled before he jumped– only this time there’s nothing marking them.

To his right, the cliff still stands high, breaking the water and letting it fizzle beside it, unyielding to its continuous ministrations.

Wonwoo waits for the shudder of fear to go through him, but it doesn’t come.

Funny how things look less terrifying when you know you can survive from them.

He backs away from the water and decides to go home before the road back gets too hot for him to walk on.

 

 

 

 

 

Later that night, he leaves food for Wooseok at the table and prays that Wonho doesn’t get home before he gets to eat it, and leaves for the sea again.

He wants… _hell,_ he doesn’t know what he wants.

Does he want to die? Occasionally.

Does he want to drown? No. Never.

Does he want to know how the _fuck_ he managed to get out of the raging waters unscathed despite his inability to wade through water? Yes. Absolutely.

And since two out of three of the things he could possibly want require him to test it out for himself, he decides to walk back towards the cliff.

When he gets there, he allows himself to look up. And his eyes go brighter at the sight of more than a dozen stars littered in the sky and surrounding the moon. His mind races with possibilities, maybe it’s true that stars granted wishes, though Wonwoo doesn’t remember wishing to come out alive from jumping, but then maybe his regret really did save him.

Aren’t regrets just silent wishes? Like, I wish I didn’t say that. I wish I hadn’t done this.

It doesn’t matter, he’s just glad to be present now to see this. To know that it wasn’t as dark as he thought it was out here, the light of the moon reflecting back from the water like diamonds floating above it.

No waves break the water tonight, but the tide’s pulled high by the moon, and where he sits it almost feels as if Wonwoo can dangle his feet from the edge of the cliff and it’ll touch the water. 

It’s beautiful, and the sea continues to gleam, as if it prepared a show for Wonwoo alone to see.

Just then, something catches Wonwoo’s eye.

A flash of silver touches the surface before it’s gone again, and at first Wonwoo thinks it’s just the wind distorting the reflection of the moon so he stands back, keeping his eyes at the same spot but seeing nothing but dark blue.

But then it comes again, this time a flash of pink tinging the end before it sinks again.

Wonwoo practically stops breathing in surprise, his heartbeat picking up in horror of the sight.

_That’s a terribly large fish._

See, its depth and his inability to swim aren’t the only things fueling Wonwoo’s fear of the ocean, part of it (or most of it, actually) is because of everything unknown dwelling beneath it. And if anything’s a proof of the unknown, then that behemoth of a fish is _it._

He’s thankful that it didn’t get to him when he fell into the water that night, then shudders at the thought of him being devoured by it.

It was definitely _not_ a shark. Wonwoo’s already seen a shark when he hopped on to be one of the men who rowed the boat for the king on a short excursion, sharks don’t glow like that, certainly not in just the moonlight.

And their barter is known to sell fish at high prices, so whatever kind of fish _that_ is, it might make Wonwoo a pretty penny if he ever catches it.

Granted, it’s a stupid thought, but Wonwoo’s stupid thoughts haven’t harmed him so far (in fact, they’ve been beneficial), and just imagining all the things he could do using the money from the fish has him forgetting about everything else.

He has to catch that fish.

Wonwoo sees the fish come closer to the bottom of the cliff. His curiosity gets the best of him, making his mind spew commands at him at an alarmingly high pace.

_You have to catch it before it gets away._

_Jump, Wonwoo._

_Jump!_

Wonwoo makes up his mind.

He takes a deep breath, before running straight to the edge of the cliff and diving headfirst.

It was a moment of complete and utter bravery –or stupidity, he doesn’t know– but when Wonwoo’s body slams into the water he opens his eyes and finds that it _burns._ The moment of bravery dies out immediately, because Wonwoo belatedly realizes that he still _can’t_ swim.

Curiosity killed the cat, it doesn’t help that they’re Wonwoo’s favorite animals.

 _Oh god,_ Wonwoo thinks, _this shouldn’t be how I go._

Something solid bumps at his leg, and through the murkiness of his sight he recognizes the pearlescent glow he saw earlier.

_Is that it? Is that the fish?_

Wonwoo opens his mouth, bubbles flying out of it as he moves, trying to catch the thing with his hands.

It catches him first.

There’s a sudden force pulling him up and out of the water, and when he comes to he realizes that a muscular arm was wrapped around his waist. His head pops out of the water and he’s gasping for air, coughing when the water intrudes his mouth as he tries to breathe.

He can still see the tips of the fish’s tail underneath him, and it’s so _close,_ so close that one dive down and he can grab it, but the arm around him tugs him backwards, so he struggles against it. His eyes trained on the fish’s tail.

“He –hey!” Wonwoo protests.

His voice seems to startle whoever it is keeping him afloat, because he stops immediately. But his hold on Wonwoo only goes tighter.

“Hey!” Wonwoo says even louder, pounding his fists on the man’s forearm, “Let. Me. Go.”

The man still doesn’t let go, and to Wonwoo’s horror, he sees the tail of the fish go from silvery pink to a bright orange.

Startled, he clambers back into the man’s hold ( _can fish even change color like that?_ ), before he realizes that the man isn’t reacting to the fish, nor is the fish reacting to the two of them –it isn’t swimming away to Wonwoo’s constant floundering– it isn’t even flinching at all.

That’s when he decides to follow the line of the fish’s tail, up and up and up, until he sees… a torso?

Wonwoo quickly turns in the man’s grasp and his eyes widen when he sees another man staring back at him.  Surprise covers both of their expressions, but when Wonwoo trails down the defined torso only to find a fucking _tail_ underneath, he pushes back.

“Oh my God!” Wonwoo breaks from the man’s (oh god, is he even a man?) hold, only to realize that he was the only one holding him above the water. He sinks, but the man (he’s having a hard time calling him a man) tugs him above water again. He sputters, “Oh God, what are you?!”

The man gapes at him, frantic brown eyes scanning over his likely terrified expression. In the darkness Wonwoo can see intricate patterns glowing from the man’s forehead up to his neck, he’d find them beautiful if he wasn’t so alarmed, “You are awake.”

He’s still holding him, and Wonwoo only allows it because he’s afraid of drowning, but the statement throws him off from staring at the boy’s face, “What?”

“I assumed you were only intoxicated.” The man pursed his lips, a conflict blooming on the lines of his eyebrows. He pulls Wonwoo closer, and Wonwoo has to remind himself that the boy’s only doing so because he’s slipping down, even as his hands go to rest over the man’s shoulders.

“Why, wha–“ Wonwoo sputters, he can feel the silky expanse of tail beneath his feet, still glowing a bright vermillion, and his toes curl, afraid of touching it more than he already has.

“I apologize.” The man says with a grimace.

Wonwoo barely has time to understand what he’s sorry for before the man starts humming, from there Wonwoo gets lightheaded, and his eyes flutter shut as he slumps against the man’s front, his head landing on his chest and being held above a heartbeat.

The last thing Wonwoo’s mind registers is someone cradling him to his body and gliding on the water.

 

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo wakes with a start.

He pushes himself off where he’s lying, and his hands land on sand.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo doesn’t go back to the sea for a week, debating whether or not he hallucinated the entire encounter. He considers the possibility of a _merman_ saving his life, hence waking up on the shore in multiple occasions; but it just seemed so crazy, so ridiculously _insane_ , that even if he accepted it to be true he doubts he could share it to anyone and have them believe it –especially now that even he himself doesn’t quite think it’s true.

Wonwoo’s always had quite an active imagination, his mom always said that.

It turned itself off when she died. And he doesn’t understand why it’d make up a merman when it came back.

He’s sitting at the small dining table, waiting for Wooseok to wake up for lunch while staring out the open window across him. His brother took odd sleeping patterns since the last time they saw Wonho, which was when Wonwoo also jumped off the cliff for the first time. He couldn’t blame Wooseok, he couldn’t sleep properly either.

Wonwoo sends him a smile when the boy gets out of their bedroom, only to get a furrow of his brow in return. They eat in silence, and the tense atmosphere makes Wonwoo squirm, especially knowing that his previous actions had been the one to cause it.

“Wooseok?” Wonwoo tentatively asks.

“Yeah?”

“You okay?”

The younger only nods, not looking Wonwoo in the eye until he finishes his food; standing up and retreating back to their room without even sparing Wonwoo a second glance.

Wonwoo stares at his back until he’s gone. He wishes he had a brother to confide in again.

 

 

 

 

It’s only a few hours later that Wonwoo succumbs to his restlessness. Having been over to Soonyoung’s but not being able to tell him anything. Feeling his skin crawl with the need to just yell ‘ _I saw a mermaid I don’t know if I’m going mad but I saw a fucking mermaid’._ He knew he could trust Soonyoung with his life, but he doesn’t know how well he’d take Wonwoo blabbering nonsense.

So when night falls, he walks to the sea instead of going home. The possibility of Wonho coming back tonight was high, and if he had to choose between seeing him again and drowning by the bay, he’d take his chances with drowning.

Once his feet touch sand instead of gravel, he sprints to where the water is; eager to see it reflect the moon and stars, even more eager to prove that he wasn’t batshit crazy. Climbing up the steep cliff and letting his eyes roam over the water for a minute.

He doesn’t see anything but the light reflected from the sky, and this worries him enough to start talking.

“Hey,” He starts, “hey Mr. Merman?”

He looks around again. Still nothing.

“Hey!” He starts to yell. Knowing that the closest person should be another mile away, in the outer circle, gives him enough confidence to know that nobody else would hear him –except for the one he’s calling for.

Wonwoo cups his hands over his mouth, “Hey! Mr. Fish Guy! I know you’re out there! Can you show yourself?”

_Would he even hear me underwater?_

Wonwoo seriously doubts it, but if the guy was able to be there even when Wonwoo didn’t ask for him, then he’s sure he’d be there if he hears him call.

“Hey!” Wonwoo’s voice cracks, weariness bleeding through as he runs a hand through his hair, “Please? Even just your tail? Ju–just show yourself.”

_Please be real, please tell me I’m not insane._

Wonwoo’s so close to giving up, but an idea pops into his head and his poor self-preservation instincts approve of it immediately.

Closing his eyes, he begins to walk to the edge of the cliff; the deep water stares back at him below.

“Hey!” Wonwoo calls one last time, before he closes his eyes again, “Please don’t make me do this.”

He takes the deepest breath and jumps.

He hadn’t taken into consideration how cold the water could’ve been, because it had been a warm night, but when he drops in the water he’s surprised by how almost _icy_ it is.

It’s the same experience, everytime he’s on the deep end of the water: the panic, the need to get out, the fear of sinking and sinking and _sinking_ without a way to get his head back up. He tries to get his limbs to move but nothing happens and he’s afraid he might only be pushing himself down.

It was such a _stupid_ idea to jump, because of course it wasn’t real, _of course_ Wonwoo’s mind made it up, a sense of salvation that would only bring him to his demise at the end.

He thinks he just released his last breath, but something swoops past him in the water and before he knows it, his head is above.

He coughs, eyes still closed from the water and his hair covering it, takes gasps of air as his arms flail in the person’s hold. They seem familiar somehow, and a sense of safety blankets him.

“You’re real.” He whispers, not even looking back at the boy, but clutching at his elbow to steady himself.

He hears the boy’s breath hitch, and he slows down his swimming, before stopping completely.

“I believed you to be intoxicated…” Suddenly Wonwoo’s being turned, his heart racing as he faces the boy again. He still looked the same, and Wonwoo still notices the intricate detail lining the sides of his face, and he’s observing Wonwoo as much as Wonwoo is observing him. “But your eyes are clear. Are you sober?”

Wonwoo’s eyes widen, and he almost finds it adorable when the boy tilts his head at him.

“Wha– yeah, yes I am.” He manages to stutter.

The boy keeps looking at him, his mouth opening and closing like a fish (Hah! He _is_ a fish, isn’t he?), until he starts looking like he’s contemplating his next move, and he settles on adjusting his grip on Wonwoo’s waist, making the other blush in embarrassment.

Finally, the boy tries a smile, although it looks a lot like a grimace more than anything else, “There is a cave, just below that cliff, where you can rest an–“

“Huh?” Wonwoo clenches his fist, ready to hit this boy if it comes to it, the thought of drowning be damned, “Are you trying to kill me?”

The boy pales, obviously against the idea, and Wonwoo notices the color of his tail go from orange to a shiny gray, paling together with his face, “I’m confused. I found _you_ trying to kill yourself. I only wish for you to rest. Before you went back home?”

Wonwoo blinks at him, “Why are you doing this?”

“Do you not want to rest?”

Wonwoo huffs a breath of exasperation mixed with surprise, he’s out here accusing the boy of trying to kill him when he looks about as innocent as a stray puppy. He talks like a well-read toddler too.

The boy raises an eyebrow at him, “I –sure.” Wonwoo finds himself agreeing.

“Okay. Please try not to hit me with your arms as I swim. It hurts.” The boy said with a small upturn of his lips.

“Sorry.” Wonwoo blushes, he didn’t know he was that frisky when he’s close to drowning. He can only imagine how many times he’s hit this boy.

The boy doesn’t say anything else but acknowledges Wonwoo’s apology with a squeeze. And it’s only when he’s gliding back towards the cliff does the thought that they drifted a bit far off occurred to Wonwoo; that, and the fact that this is the closest Wonwoo’s ever been to anyone else besides the hugs he’s gotten from his mother and Soonyoung.

The thought makes him blush and clench his fists again, holding it against his chest and praying that the other boy doesn’t notice it.

The boy turns to look at him then, a confused look on his face, and Wonwoo worries that he sees the red forming on his cheeks, but it’s dark, so he highly doubts it.

The boy looks up at the rock behind him, and Wonwoo notes how he’s practically on top of him, “I suggest you hold your breath.”

“Is this where I die?”

“If you don’t hold your breath.” The boy giggles. He actually fucking _giggles._

Wonwoo gulps, nodding and taking a deep breath. He closes his eyes, before he feels the boy pulling him closer with his other arm.

“Don’t open your eyes until I tell you to do so.”

He dives. Wonwoo feels the water enveloping his body and the fear that starts twisting in his gut die away when a hand cradles his head over a heartbeat as the boy keeps swimming. Almost on instinct, Wonwoo clings to him, arms circling the boy’s torso.

His hearing is muffled underwater, but with his ear pressed against his heartbeat like this, it sounds solid, tangible.

“You can open them now.”

Wonwoo startles, taking his head off the boy and jumping back, but the boy holds his arms and keeps him steadily afloat, thumbs rubbing at them gently.

“Sorry.”

“You apologize an awful lot,” The boy says, actually smiling this time, “Come. You can step on dry land over there.”

Wonwoo nods, finally taking his eyes off the boy to notice his surroundings, only to be taken aback by what he sees.

The cave is big, bigger than his own home, and he notices no other opening other than the one they went through, but that wasn’t the thing that has Wonwoo gaping in awe –it’s the walls.

They’re glowing, with images and patterns that mirror the ones on the boy’s face. You’d think that a cave that lets no outside light in would be dark, but the luminescence of the walls keep it bright, even brighter than the moonlight outside. It’s filled with art, but Wonwoo’s eyes betray him with how much they blur, so he can’t take in the details until he walks near them.

Wonwoo looks to his right, and sees the image of the palace tower painted in bright blue, its symbolic color. There are pink and blue crystals hanging from its ceiling and peeking out at the side.

He doesn’t notice the boy taking him to the small shore, flanked by two rocks similar in the shape of the cliff, until he’s being pulled up to it.

Wonwoo gasps, but having something to step on finally calms him down. He looks at the boy, who stays afloat in the water a few meters away from the shore; he’s looking back at Wonwoo.

“You can roam around if you want,” The boy suggests, “or take a nap, it is quite late.”

Wonwoo takes up the former suggestion, standing up to walk around. But not before he looks back at the boy with a questioning look, “Are you staying there?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” Wonwoo frowns, “Can’t you come up here?”

The boy shakes his head, “I can, but I like breathing in the water better.”

Wonwoo knows the boy can breathe underwater, he lives in it after all, but he doesn’t get what the difference of breathing in and out of the water is. He has his body out of it already anyway.

His face must give his thoughts away, because a moment later the boy is pulling himself up the shore and breathing deep, Wonwoo furrows his brows, wondering what the hell he’s doing, before the boys sides start to slide open, revealing gills. It makes Wonwoo’s eyes widen.

“I use these underwater. It is easier for me to breathe this way,” The boy pushes back into the water with a shake of his head, a smile that can only be described as teasing directed at Wonwoo when he’s half submerged again, “they still hurt actually. You gave them quite a hit the last time we saw each other.”

“Oh,” Wonwoo gasps, cheeks already coloring in shame, “I–“

“Please don’t apologize.”

“Sorry.”

The boy breathes out a chuckle, and Wonwoo watches his face turn soft as he glanced at Wonwoo, who only avoided his gaze and walked towards the wall on the left, his hand holding on to a blunt pink crystal from the side.

He hears a splash in the water, and when he looks the boy is already watching his actions. He looks back at the wall, and up close he sees it’s made of some kind of moss, there’s smaller detail littering the big picture, a swirl at the end of one side, a solid shape in the middle of another.

He lifts a finger before thinking better and dropping it.

He’s interrupted when the boy calls out, “You can touch it. See how it responds.”

Wonwoo narrows his eyes at the boy, doubting whatever response he’s talking about, but he tries it anyway. The moment his fingers land on the moss, it stops glowing, and Wonwoo panics; a gasp escaping his lips as he pulls his hand back.

“Oh God,” He looks at the boy, who doesn’t look phased that Wonwoo just killed a part of his wall, “Oh no, did I ruin it? Fuck, I’m sorry!”

The boy tilts his head and shrugs, before diving back under the water.

Wonwoo panics even more, because he’s his only way out of here, and if he decides to abandon Wonwoo now then he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

“Oh shit!” Wonwoo curses, peeking off the edge and trying to look for him, but he wasn’t there anymore. His heartbeat picks up, but before he could panic any further, a splash sounds beneath him.

“You might want to look at it again.” The boy shouts, and Wonwoo does as he says only to close his eyes again.

The part he just touched burned brighter now, its color more saturated as well, and Wonwoo stands in awe as the crystals in front of it catches the light and refracts it into small rays against the caves walls, decorating it with shimmer that can compare to the ocean’s surface at night.

“Wow…” Wonwoo breathes, he looks back at the boy in the water with a smile, and he sees that he’s already looking at him, a similar smile on his face.

Wonwoo averts his gaze again, but sits on the edge of the rock so the boy is in his peripherals.

He just needs to see him just to be sure he won’t leave him alone, yeah, that’s all.

He keeps admiring the cave, wonders how it became this stunning.

His thoughts are interrupted by a cough, “You can ask, you know?”

“Huh?”

“If something is troubling your mind. If you have questions. You can ask.”

The boy’s floating right in front of him, and his eyes are so open and honest that Wonwoo can’t find it in himself to deny his request.

“The walls,” Wonwoo starts looking back at them again, “have they always been like this?”

“No. I made them.”

“You did?”

“Yes.”

“How?” Wonwoo’s brows furrowed, “I thought you liked it better in the water? I don’t think you can even reach this if you were out.” Wonwoo says, pointing at the top of the mural.

“I _did_ do it in the water,” The boy said matter-of-factly, “the tides rise and fills this cave up to the ceiling.”

Wonwoo feels a surge of dread down his spine, he freezes in place. “What? When?”

“Don’t worry, it only happens when there is a full moon.” The boy assures with a smile, “I wouldn’t have brought you here then.”

“Oh.” Wonwoo relaxes, his heart swelling at the thoughtfulness of a simple statement, his cheeks bunching up into a shy smile before he pulls his reigns and coughs it off.

“How did you do it then?” Wonwoo asks to distract himself, and the boy tilts his head _again._

“I already told you,” He says, “when the tides rise I draw.”

“No, I mean,” Wonwoo sighs, “what do you use to draw? Why did you draw these patterns? Stuff like that.”

“Oh,” The boy says, and his lips purse and he seems to be in deep thought, “well, there is moss that clings to corals, I collect those and some rocks, when you crush them they glow, like that.” He points to the walls, “And the designs… I drew my scars.”

“Your scars?”

“Yes.” The boy affirms, and points his finger to the side of his face, “These. These are my scars. I have memorized what they looked from my reflection in the water, and I drew them on the walls.”

The intricacies on his face are scars. Wonwoo didn’t know scars could be so beautiful.

He voices out as much, looking straight at the boy, “I wish my scars were as pretty as yours.”

The boy breathes a laugh and ducks his face, Wonwoo sees his _scars_ light up a bright orange before he dives into the water.

He’s shy. Wonwoo finds it really cute.

He resurfaces a few moments later, his tail and scars finally gone back into a silvery pink color. And when Wonwoo smiles at him he smiles back.

A silence befalls them. Wonwoo leans against a rock and was thisclose to closing his eyes when the boy’s voice echoed.

“Do you have any more questions?”

 _Damn,_ Wonwoo thought, _this boy really likes answering questions doesn’t he?_

Wonwoo chalks it up to him being lonely and having nobody to talk to, so he tries to humor him. But the only question boggling his mind was the one he’s been asking the entire week.

How he’s still _alive._

Wonwoo takes a breath and opens his eyes, looking right at the waiting boy, “Were you the one who saved me?”

“I just did.” He tilted his head.

“No, I mean,” Wonwoo sighed, rubbing his eyes. They were starting to get heavy with sleep. “the first time. The one when I couldn’t remember anything.”

The boy looks surprised, like he didn’t expect such a serious question, but his eyes soften nonetheless and he ducks his head again, “Yes.”

“Why?”

“I do not wish for someone to die if I could have done something to prevent it,” He says, his head snapping up and revealing the honesty in his eyes, “and seeing as you’ve chronically stumbled down a cliff in drunken stupor, I supposed it would’ve been wise of me to wait for your next drop.”

He really speaks like a well-read kid, like a young prince. But Wonwoo ignores that in favor of his confession, the fact that he’s made it his mission to save Wonwoo because he couldn’t watch him just _die._

His heart jumps at the thought, but he ignores it, instead deciding to ask another question. “And why couldn’t I remember anything? You had something to do with that?”

The boy stays quiet, peering up at him through his lashes and keeping his mouth shut. It was Wonwoo’s turn to tilt his head.

“You don’t want to answer that?” Wonwoo asks.

The boy shakes his head and makes Wonwoo sigh.

“Okay,” Wonwoo says, “It’s okay. Thanks for telling me about the other things though.”

He sees the boy nod in acknowledgement. And he pushes himself off the rock he was leaning on with a sigh.

“What time is it?”

“Wait.” The boy says before diving under and coming back a minute later, “It is a couple of minutes before 3.”

Wonwoo winces, if he stays any longer his absence would be noticed, and he doesn’t really want to be searched out. “I better head back.”

A small frown appears on the boy’s face, but it’s gone as fast as it came, “Okay. Come on, I will take you to the shore.”

 

 

 

 

 

He lets go of Wonwoo when he can already feel the sand under his feet, and Wonwoo walks to the shore, expecting for the boy to be gone by the time he got out of the water, but when he turns around he’s still there; although he scurries to leave when Wonwoo turns.

“I have to go before anyone else sees me.” The boy says, starting to swim away.

“Wait!” Wonwoo calls, making the boy turn back around with wide eyes, “I have one more question.”

“What is it?” The boy says, and Wonwoo decides he doesn’t like referring to him as _the boy_ anymore.

“What’s your name?”

“My name is Mingyu.” He says after a moment of hesitation.

“Nice to meet you, Mingyu.” Wonwoo smiles, thinking that the name suited the boy, _Mingyu_ , very much. “I’m Wonwoo.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Are there any more like you?” Wonwoo asks.

It’s the night after their last meeting, which, luckily, ended well. Wonwoo got home without anyone getting suspicious about his whereabouts and without Wonho waiting for him. Wooseok already fast asleep in their room.

Today he decided he wanted to pay Mingyu a visit again, so he dove into the water a little past eleven o’clock and didn’t even have to think about sinking before he was out of the water again. Courtesy of Mingyu.

“None that I know of.” Mingyu admits, crushing a small crab with a rock and offering it to Wonwoo, who only smiles and politely declines.

Wonwoo watches Mingyu chew on the crustacean, “So you’re alone?”

“Yes, but watching human beings from afar, it hardly really gets lonely,” Mingyu says through a mouthful of crab, “sometimes I can pretend to be living their life.”

“Oh, that’s nice.” Wonwoo says.

“Yeah,” Mingyu swallows, “but you are here now, so it is not necessary to think about being lonely again, right?”

“What makes you think I’ll make this a regular thing?” Wonwoo teases him.

They’re sitting side to side on the shore of the cave, Mingyu already agreed to try to accompany Wonwoo on the surface, and when Wonwoo asks that question he sees his tail start to burn a bright orange.

Wonwoo catalogues it as his color for embarrassment.

“Well, I certainly did not claim that.”

“I’m kidding, dummy.” Wonwoo laughs, pushing playfully at Mingyu’s shoulder, making the other glare at him. He raises his hands in surrender, “I like it here. It’s calm.”

Mingyu hums. “That it is.”

They fall into a comfortable silence, Mingyu trying to chase small crabs and Wonwoo watching him in amusement; then a thought pops into Wonwoo’s head, making him furrow his brow.

“Mingyu,” He starts. The other boy gives up his pursuit of the crab behind him to look at Wonwoo attentively, “How come you can talk to me, like, understand me? Don’t you have your own language?”

Mingyu blinks quickly and purses his lip, deep in thought. “I believe I could talk to anyone,” He finally says, “I do not know how, but I am fluent in most languages.”

“How’d you know?” Wonwoo leans back on his arms.

“I understand what everyone says when I listen to conversations.” Mingyu shrugs.

“So you’re fluent? In all languages?”

“I would like to think so.”

“Yeah you’re fluent alright,” Wonwoo chuckles, “maybe a bit too much.”

“Why is that?”

“You don’t have to use the whole words,” Wonwoo explains, “like, instead of saying do not, just say don’t. Or instead of it is, just say it’s.”

“Oh,” Mingyu looks at Wonwoo thankfully, “It is nice to learn that. I will try.”

“It’s. I’ll.” Wonwoo says nonchalantly.

“Oh,” Mingyu ducks his head, “I apologize.”

Wonwoo giggles at his actions, “Feels like I’m talking to a forty year old man.”

Mingyu pouts, making Wonwoo falter in his laughter before bumping their shoulders together, “It’s fine. You do you. Just trying to make it easier for you, you know?”

“I understand.” Mingyu nods, “Though I do not believe I do it all that time, do I?”

“I don’t know, I only noticed it now.”

Mingyu hums, but doesn’t break Wonwoo’s gaze. Wonwoo goes with the stare off before his eyes widen in curiosity again.

“Oh, can you talk to fish?”

“Well,” Mingyu’s eyes widen as well, “they are food, so I’d rather not communicate with them lest I feel guilt.”

“They’re food?!” Wonwoo yells in surprise, “But you’re fish too?”

“Yes,” Mingyu laughs at Wonwoo’s reaction, his eyes lighting up in amusement, “and there are even bigger fish that would like to consume me as well, so it’s really just a survival of the fittest.”

“Wow… that’s brutal.”

“Yes it’s.”

Wonwoo laughs, his head falling back and his nose scrunching up, “Okay, that’s not the right way to use it but points for effort.”

Mingyu smiles back at him, “Thank you.”

Wonwoo watches the ceiling, only now noticing that even it has moss glowing in different patterns.

Mingyu really went above and beyond with this cave.

He’s interrupted by a cough from Mingyu, making him looks at the boy in question, “What is it?”

“Would it be okay if I asked questions about you as well?”

“Sure. I don’t mind.”

“Okay.” Mingyu takes a deep breath, “How does it feel to walk?”

Wonwoo snorts, but answers anyway, “Same as how it feels to drag your tail across sand, I guess. Only lighter, and as easy as you gliding across the water is. It’s natural for us, after all.”

Mingyu hums, then he looks to their left and brightens up again, “How about the castle? Have you ever been to the castle?”

Wonwoo scoffs at that, regarding the wall with a bitter sneer. He points at the glowing image of the castle, “That place? They’re for princes. And Kings. And Royalty.” He looks at Mingyu again, before pulling his arms around himself as if they could protect him, “And I’m none of those things. I’m poor. I live in the outer circle.”

“Outer circle?”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo tries to act cool, shrugging despite the shake of irritation in his shoulders, “place where workers stay to starve and die.”

Mingyu’s eyebrows furrow, and his tail changes from orange to a color that Wonwoo hasn’t seen them in before, a deep purple. “Do you starve? Isn’t that dangerous?”

Mingyu’s too innocent for his own good, and the concern laced in the boy’s tone makes Wonwoo relax, a small smile forming on his lips. “No. I get to eat everyday so I’ll be fine. Besides, I have a friend who always has food with him and never hesitates to share.”

“If you are ever starving, please tell me. I can catch more fish than I can consume and I’d be glad to share too.” Mingyu suggests, his tail going from deep purple to a softer lilac, “And this friend you mention, I would love to meet him.”

“Maybe someday,” Wonwoo smiles, picking up a rock and skipping it across the water. He looks back at Mingyu. “long as you introduce me to your friends too.”

“You,” Mingyu’s tail swishes slightly, turning back to a shade of orange, “you’re my friend.”

“Oh…” Wonwoo says, suddenly remembering Mingyu saying he hasn’t encountered another mermaid. His cheeks flush, “Sorry, I forgot. But I’ll let you meet my friend soon so we can be friends together.”

Mingyu gives him a full smile, and Wonwoo’s shocked to finally notice how two of his teeth are longer than the rest, like fangs. It’s adorable. “Thank you Wonwoo.”

 

 

 

 

 

They meet again the next night, and Wonwoo starts to think that maybe this _could_ _be_ a regular thing.

He enjoys staying with Mingyu anyway, as much as he enjoys being with Soonyoung, maybe even more.

And that’s saying something.

“This,” Wonwoo points a moss covered finger on the word he wrote. Mingyu gave him a shell full of the glowing stuff right after they got into the cave earlier and allowed him to draw on the walls, “is how you write your name.”

Mingyu looks intrigued, inching closer until their shoulders brush at every breath. His scars go pink and Wonwoo knows that his tail is doing the same, but he keeps his eyes on the boy’s movements and watches him run a finger across his name.

Wonwoo smiles, he points his hand next to Mingyu’s when he begins to trace the letters of Wonwoo’s name. “And this is mine.”

Mingyu looks in awe, and when his name glows back to life in an even brighter green, his eyes flicker to it. “This reads Mingyu?”

“Yeah.”

Wonwoo’s name does the same, glowing a bright violet and catching Mingyu’s attention. “And that one’s Wonwoo?”

“Yep.”

Wonwoo breathes slowly, but he knows his heart is racing beneath his ribs, and he’s afraid that Mingyu can feel it since they’re still so close to each other. But the boy doesn’t mention it, although what he says next almost sends Wonwoo to a cardiac arrest.

“Your name looks beautiful.”

“I think yours looks better,” Wonwoo says, then coughs as he tries to cover up the fondness in his voice, not knowing why he’s reacting like that to such a simple quip; so he dips his finger into the moss again and wiggles it in front of Mingyu’s face, “but I think I know something that can make it more beautiful.”

Mingyu tilts his head at him, and Wonwoo smiles before drawing something besides both of their names, trying to stifle a giggle at the confused sound Mingyu makes.

“What’s that you drew beside my name?” Mingyu’s brows furrow, staring intently at the drawing, trying to understand it.

“A dog.”

“A dog?”

Wonwoo shrugs, “Yeah, a land animal.”

“Why would you draw a dog for my name?” Mingyu says, looking away from the drawing and at Wonwoo in disapproval.

“You remind me of a dog.” Wonwoo jokes, reaching a hand up to mess with Mingyu’s hair.

Mingyu makes another confused sound, a pout on his lips, “But I’m already half fish…”

“Yeah and your human half acts like a puppy, so there.” The side of the boy’s face glows pink again, and even though he doesn’t ask, Wonwoo knows what the boy wants to say anyway. He giggles. “A baby dog, Mingyu.”

Mingyu makes a noise of acknowledgement, nodding his head and looking at his name again. Wonwoo suddenly wonders how much this boy even knows about the things on land. Not much, probably.

“Why? Haven’t you seen a dog yet?” Wonwoo decides to ask.

“Oh well,” Mingyu’s lips purse in thought, and his eyes widen as he perks up, “I have seen some of the sailors trail along the docks with small companions. Ones who always have their tongues out.”

Wonwoo laughs with a shake of his head, “Yeah, what you saw was a dog alright.”

“And what is that beside yours?” Mingyu goes to point at his name, and their arms bump when he does.

Wonwoo pretends not to notice the contact, “A cat.”

“Oh.” Mingyu says, but then stares blankly at the figure, his lips pursing again. Wonwoo thinks he’s oblivious to his own actions; trying to pretend to understand when his own face gives him away.

“You don’t know what a cat is, so you?” Wonwoo asks, making Mingyu jump. The boy shakes his head, and his eyes are wide when his scars glow orange. Wonwoo fights the urge to swipe the hair falling over his eyes. “Figured. They do hate water after all.”

This makes Mingyu frown, “They _hate_ water?”

“Well, I don’t know if they _do_ hate water, but I don’t think they enjoy getting wet.”

“What kind of things are they?” Mingyu frowns harder, his brows furrowing in thought.

Wonwoo hits his shoulder playfully. “Hey, they’re my favorite animals. Don’t talk like that about them when I’m here.”

“Sorry. But I don’t quite understand how you can like an animal like that…”

“They’re cute!” Wonwoo relents, throwing an arm up, “I’d bring one from town just to prove it to you, but I don’t think I can drown a cat.”

Mingyu’s eyes widen slightly at the mention of bringing a cat, but then he ducks his head.

“Well…” Mingyu starts, avoiding Wonwoo’s stare and looking at their names instead. “The full moon’s coming and you can’t stay here either, but maybe we can go somewhere else?”

“Somewhere else?”

Wonwoo’s brows furrow, and Mingyu still doesn’t look at him as he touches the cat drawn beside Wonwoo’s name, smiling when it lights up again, glowing the same orange as the side of his face.

“There’s a big pile of rocks on the shore a couple of meters away from here…” Mingyu finally looks at him, shrugging nonchalantly, “If, you know, you would like to bring a cat and keep it safe from the water.”

“Really?” Wonwoo’s feels his smile up to his eyes, “Would you show me?”

Mingyu nods, and Wonwoo sees gold surge through the orange lines on his face, “Just call my name.”

“Okay.” Wonwoo smiles harder.

Mingyu ducks his head, and although Wonwoo doesn’t understand the feeling brewing in his stomach, he accepts it, keeping his eyes on the gold slowly taking over orange, as Mingyu smiles back at him.

Wonwoo ruffles Mingyu’s hair because he can’t take not touching him anymore, and even when the orange comes back full force, Wonwoo still finds him beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

Like all other things, Wonwoo’s happiness is often short lived. He gets a feeling of dread when he reaches the front of his house, and when he opens the door to see Wooseok sitting on the bench and facing the door, Wonwoo feels ice dumped over his body.

“Where were you?” The younger boy frowns.

Wonwoo mirrors his frown, looking around to see if anyone else was in here. They were alone. “Why are you awake?”

“Why were you gone?” Wooseok’s voice was teary, making Wonwoo’s heartrate spike up in fear.

He moves to his brother, carefully taking his face in his hands and inspecting it for contusions, “Did anything happen to you?”

“I asked where you went, hyung.” A tear escapes his eye, and Wonwoo realizes that he might be growing up, but his brother’s still young. He catches the wetness with his thumb.

“I was with Soonyoung.”

“You’re lying.” Wooseok spits at him, and suddenly his tears are rushing down, making Wonwoo panic even more, and shush him quietly. “I went there and didn’t see you. Why are you lying?”

“I was walking around.”

“I was alone.” Wooseok finally whispers. Wonwoo’s heart drops. “I was alone when I woke up. I went to look for you everywhere but I didn’t know where else to look except Soonyoung’s but you weren’t there and I was worried Wonho took you away too.”

Wonwoo whimpers at the last sentence. “I’m sorry.” _I was trying to find happiness. Away from here._

Wonwoo slumps his brother’s head on his chest, running a hand through his hair and trying to comfort him as much as possible.

It’s funny, how when he’s here Wooseok won’t even look at him, but comes looking for him when he’s gone. He tries to understand, maybe his brother just needs company, not conversation.

He sighs, and when his brother stops crying he leads him to bed.

Wooseok’s curiosity gets the better of him, and when Wonwoo turns to leave he asks, “Can’t you just tell me where you went?”

“Around.” Wonwoo whispers, keeping his hand on Wooseok’s hair, combing through it

Wooseok scoffs, but closes his eyes anyway. And when his breath evens out Wonwoo moves out of the room.

Wonwoo sighs, frustrated, but determined to make sure Wooseok’s really asleep next time before he sneaks out. Afraid of making him cry again.

 

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo wouldn’t meet Mingyu the following night, and the next five nights after that, because he knows the full moon leaves the cave inhabitable for him unless he wants to drown (which, surprisingly, isn’t that often anymore) and Mingyu still hadn’t shown him the place where they could meet at full moons; but the next time they meet Wonwoo was planning on bringing a cat, so, he’d probably know then.

So he goes about the same routine, spending the day tending to Wooseok and the night coming over at Soonyoung’s, he tries to get home before Wooseok falls asleep, but most days he finds him already snoring in the bed, so he goes to sleep as well.

Wonho doesn’t go home, thankfully. And Wonwoo spends the nights in peace, gets to stay with Soonyoung as much as he wanted without it feeling like temporary salvation and just staying with a friend.

“You’re glowing.” Soonyoung says out of nowhere. Making Wonwoo unconsciously reach for the side of his face in fear of a mess up. Did he bring some of Mingyu’s moss and forgot to wash it off? No. That can’t be it. They haven’t seen each other in days.

Soonyoung lays back on his bed, a smirk forming on his lip as he nudges Wonwoo with his foot, “You got something to tell me?”

“Wha–what? No. Nothing. I don’t–“

“Oh my God,” Soonyoung snickers, gaping at Wonwoo, “I thought I’d never see the day. Wonwoo, you’re actually blushing!”

“No I’m not!” Wonwoo buries his head in his hands, trying to hide from Soonyoung, who’s still laughing hysterically and trying to pull Wonwoo’s hand away from his face.

“Jeon Wonwoo is blushing! He’s blushing! Is he in love?”

“Stop laughing!” Wonwoo yells, grabbing a pillow and smacking Soonyoung with it over and over, “Shut up! Shut. The. Hell. Up!”

Soonyoung giggles, and Wonwoo finds himself smiling despite his embarrassment, smacking Soonyoung’s face one more time before groaning into his hands again.

Soonyoung pulls the pillow off his face and grins.

“Did any of those noble girls finally catch your heart, huh?” Soonyoung wiggles his eyebrows, and Wonwoo sighs. There’s no getting out of this one. “I know they have. You don’t have to lie to me. I can read you like a book.”

Wonwoo grins. Of course he can, Soonyoung can read him better than any of his brothers. But he doesn’t know what to say. He isn’t in love, yet he doesn’t want to make Soonyoung sad with that truth as well.

Wonwoo hides his face in his hands again, and his eyes widen when Mingyu’s smile suddenly flashes in his mind.

No. No. it can’t be him.

Right?

“Fine. It’s true, okay?” Wonwoo concedes, but his breath hitches in his throat when Mingyu pursing his lips in thought comes to the forefront of his mind upon his confession. He whispers to cover it up, “Now stop bothering me about it…”

“Uh, no way?” Soonyoung sits up, gets all in Wonwoo’s space, “I need to know what she’s like, is she cute? Does she have nice teeth? Is she _sexy_?”

Wonwoo groans, pushing Soonyoung away by the face. He doesn’t know what to say.

 _She’s_ not even a she _._ She’s not even _human,_ not completely.

Soonyoung doesn’t stop bugging him, even shimmying his shoulders.

Wonwoo rolls his eyes.

“Yeah.” Wonwoo says, “Yeah she’s cute, and her teeth are cute too. She has two teeth longer than the others, it’s nice when she smiles–“

“Wait, you better not be courting a vampire or I swear I’d–“

“She’s not a vampire, Soon!” Wonwoo says, exasperated. Well, at least he’s not as _bad_ as a vampire. “Just has odd teeth.”

Soonyoung scoffs crossing his arms before his eyes light up with a smirk again. Wonwoo worries his lip between his teeth. “You haven’t answered the last question though…”

Wonwoo’s brows furrow, what was the last question again?

Oh. _Oh._

He doesn’t really want to think about it, but there’s a smug look on Soonyoung’s face, and it won’t go away until Wonwoo answers him. And Wonwoo can’t lie, Mingyu _is_ sexy.

Wonwoo pretends that he doesn’t know how toned his chest is, just by the number of times he’s been pressed against it when they swim together. How he catches himself sometimes absentmindedly looking at Mingyu’s arms, or drops his eyes to the boy’s abs, before he’s pulled away by his conscience. _You can’t look at him like that._

“Yeah.” Wonwoo coughs, hiding his blush behind his fist as he covers it, “Yeah she’s sexy.”

Soonyoung raises a brow, “Elaborate.”

“I’m not going to describe her body to you, Soonyoung. What the hell.”

Soonyoung huffs, slumping back and kicking his feet petulantly, “Fine. Keep your secrets.”

Wonwoo laughs, settling down beside Soonyoung and letting him lay his head on his shoulder. He feels more than hears Soonyoung sigh, and when he looks down at him he sees the other already looking at him.

“I’m glad for you, you know?” Soonyoung says, honesty in his eyes. “You’ve never been this smiley for a while… I think she’s good for you.”

Mingyu made him forget about the worst of his grief, if only for a short time. He nods at Soonyoung, “You’re right.”

“If she’s got you wrapped around her finger like that, then she must be great.” Soonyoung’s eyes disappear when he smiles, and he sits up ‘till he’s level with Wonwoo, “I’d like to meet this person.”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo smiles, remembering how he promised Mingyu that he’d introduce him to Soonyoung. Wonwoo really thinks they’d get along, “yeah I think she’d like it too.”

 

 

 

 

 

“You think you can understand it?”

“I don’t know,” Mingyu stares at it some more, his eyes narrowing when the cat extends a paw at him, “if it talks, we’ll see.”

They’re sitting on a rock, well, Wonwoo is, Mingyu’s floating in front of him, hiding behind a boulder, and looking at the cat cradled in Wonwoo’s arms.

Wonwoo yelled Mingyu’s name earlier and the boy asked him to follow over to where they’re sitting now, a collection of rocks and boulders lying on the side of the shore, a perfect hiding spot a few meters away from the cliff, just like Mingyu said.

He had the cat cradled to his arms when he arrived, napping despite his jostling. But it woke the moment he sat by the rocks, somehow feeling it’s near water. Now it’s perched on his leg and trying to move as much as it can without getting wet, keeping its eyes on Mingyu.

The cat meows, reaching for Mingyu again. Mingyu leans back away from it, making Wonwoo furrow his brow, “Well? What’s it say?”

“I don’t think I enjoy what he just said.” Mingyu says, his tail going purple and eyes narrowing.

“What?”

“It called me a big meal.”

“Oh god.” Wonwoo laughs, grabbing the cat and holding it against his chest, “you understand him and _that’s_ what he says.”

“Yeah, I still don’t see how you like this creature.”

“Give him a chance,” Wonwoo giggles, reaching a hand out to Mingyu, “here, you can pet him.”

Mingyu curls in on himself, “But my hands are wet.”

He doesn’t say ‘ _and it’s trying to eat me’_ but Wonwoo hears it just the same. He tries to goad him further, “C’mon! You can wipe your hand on my pants.”

He sees Mingyu hesitate and Wonwoo doesn’t expect him to do it, but Mingyu wipes his hand gingerly on Wonwoo’s pants, before reaching behind the cat’s ears.

“It _is_ very soft.” Mingyu says, and the cat purrs against his touches, “I think he likes me.”

“Of course he does, you look like lunch.”

Wonwoo snickers when Mingyu glares at him, but when the boy looks down and Wonwoo watches him continue petting the cat, he feels his heart fill up to the brim.

Wonwoo lets out a shake exhale.

It’s so _cute_ , just having his favorite animal interact with someone he lo– _likes_ a lot, Wonwoo suddenly wished he we’re better at art. He wants this moment immortalized.

Suddenly Mingyu stops and looks up catching Wonwoo off guard and witnessing him staring.

Wonwoo only hopes his eyes don’t betray him.

“I enjoy finally meeting your favorite animal,” Mingyu smiles, but it drops quickly and he looks around, “But we can’t meet here frequently, we cannot be exposed to the outside for so long.”

“Oh,” Wonwoo’s face falls, “how about we meet here on full moons?” He suggest, feeling his face burn with how needy he sounds, “I’d still want to see you then.”

Mingyu looks like he just saw a shooting star, “You do?”

“Of course. I like y–“ Wonwoo’s eyes widen, catching himself before he slips up. He blinks rapidly, averting his eyes from Mingyu, “seeing you. I like seeing you, Gyu. So yeah, if it’s okay with you.”

Gold flecks Mingyu’s scars, “Of course, Wonwoo.”

 

 

 

 

 

They stay in the cave the next time, and Wonwoo lets Mingyu swim around as he sits on the edge of a rock, throwing questions here and there, Mingyu answering them like he knew all the answers in the world.

Wonwoo learns that Mingyu’s travelled around the kingdom’s island, and that he’s been to other kingdoms as well, but the cave is the perfect hiding spot for him so he stayed here. He knows now that Mingyu befriends dolphins but is also terrified of sharks, and he doesn’t like it when he witnesses sailors harpooning whales –it makes him sad.

“Hey, Mingyu…”

The boy stops swimming to look at him with a tilt of his head, “Hm?”

Wonwoo looks down at his lap, a frown creases his brow, “Do you think you have siblings? That you were just separated from your family?”

“I don’t know…” Mingyu shrugs, “I might’ve been. But for long as I can remember I’ve been alone.”

“Oh…”

“Why? Do _you_ have siblings?” He asks, his tail going pink, looking like a huge pearl submerged in the water.

Wonwoo nods, “Yeah, I have two.”

“Oh, are they kind?” Mingyu perks up.

“Sometimes.”

“Sometimes? I don’t think kindness can be sorted by sometimes, Wonwoo.” Mingyu smiles, “It’s either they’re kind or they’re not.”

“Not everyone’s going to be kind as you, Mingyu.” Wonwoo says. His eyes sad but smiling because this boy in front of him is so _pure,_ Wonwoo doesn’t want to burden him. “But if that’s the case, then one of them isn’t. The other one’s… working on it.”

“Well I hope he works it out soon.”

Wonwoo hums in agreement, and they fall into silence again, Wonwoo watching Mingyu’s graceful movements in the water, wishing he was at least a quarter of how good he was at swimming. He kind of adores it, Mingyu slicing quickly through the water and then slowing down with languid waves of his body.

Mingyu seems to have read his mind, because when his head emerges from the water he smiles, “Hey Wonwoo.”

“What?”

“Would you like to go for a swim?”

Despite the temptation of Mingyu tilting his head at him in question, Wonwoo decides to save face and shake his head, “I’d rather not.”

“Come on!” Mingyu splashes water over to Wonwoo, making him pull his legs over the rock, “I’ll guide you, you won’t sink _and_ you’ll finally learn how to swim.”

“No.”

“Please?”

Mingyu pouts. He actually _pouts_ and Wonwoo doesn’t know what to do with himself.

He sighs, “Ugh. Fine.”

Mingyu grins, and Wonwoo sees gold mix with lilac on the side of his face. It’s fascinating, really, but Wonwoo only knows what orange meant, and he has a hunch on what gold is, but purple? No.

Maybe he should’ve thought about it first.

Just like every other time he jumps into water, Wonwoo goes mindless, knowing that there’s someone waiting for him below. So when he doesn’t feel Mingyu’s arms come around him immediately, his mindlessness turns to hypersensitivity and his heartbeat picks up.

He kicks his feet, now overly aware of how deep the water is, he manages to feel the surface, and he swims for it frantically.

“Mingyu!” Wonwoo yells, his voice sounds terrible to his ears but that’s probably because they’re filled with water, “Mingyu, please! I don’t know how to swim.”

His head goes underwater again, and yells, making him swallow some of it, he chokes but manages to get up enough to yell, “Mingyu!”

Suddenly, there’s an arm wrapped around his waist, soft silk surrounding his feet, and a breath behind his ear, pulling him up and out. “You panic too much.”

Wonwoo turns, his arms automatically winding around Mingyu’s neck, holding on for dear life.

He’s shaking. And when Mingyu giggles it’s muffled. His ears are ringing.

He coughs and coughs and coughs, and even if he feels Mingyu hold him tighter he doesn’t acknowledge it, a sob ripping through his throat.

Mingyu tenses, trying to hold him at arms-length but not being able to because Wonwoo clings to him, “Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo keeps crying, breathing hard as his heart beats out his chest, his muscles are frozen in fear.

He’s never felt like this before, but as of now he knows he doesn’t ever want to feel this way again.

“No.” Mingyu mumbles before hugging him back. Wonwoo comes to enough to feel a slight shake in his arms.

“I’m sorry.” Mingyu says, hands coming to cradle the back of Wonwoo’s head. “I’m sorry. Did I scare you? I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”

Wonwoo only shakes his head, burying it into the crook of Mingyu’s neck and trying to even out his breathing.

Mingyu holds him for all it’s worth. Squeezing his waist tight and holding him close, whispering assurance to his ear as he strokes his hair.

Wonwoo stops sobbing at one point, and Mingyu presses his lips to his ear.

“Are you okay?” He whispers.

Wonwoo nods.

“I’m sorry.” Mingyu squeezes him, “I was waiting for you to come up on your own, I didn’t think. I’m really sorry.”

Wonwoo let’s go of his neck but stays close enough that their foreheads touch.

“It’s fine.” Wonwoo leans his forehead against Mingyu’s, eyes closed, “You caught me. That’s all that matters.”

“It won’t happen again, okay? I promise.”

“Okay,” Wonwoo nods, “I trust you.”

Mingyu sighs, holding him close again. His breath tickles Wonwoo’s ear. “I’ll catch you Wonwoo. I’ll always catch you.”

Wonwoo believes him.

 

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo comes home later that night, still a bit dazed from the panic attack he had.

Mingyu apologized profusely, held him until he stopped shaking and could go home without feeling like he’d pass out from the walk. But when he opens their door, he sees a figure leaning against the bedroom door. Wonwoo feels another panic attack come.

“Have fun at your little escapade?” Wonho sneers at him, marching forward until he’s visible by the ray of light from the window.

Wonwoo grips the doorknob a little bit tighter, but he bites back “It’s none of your business.”

“Not a good brother. An even worse nanny.” Wonho scoffs, and he pulls Wonwoo inside by the forearm before slamming the door closed, “You leave Wooseok again and I’ll make sure you regret it.”

“It’s not like you’re doing any better.” Wonwoo says under his breath.

“I’ll catch you, Wonwoo.” Wonho turns to him again, inching closer until Wonwoo can smell cigar in his breath, “Whatever it is you’re up to, I’ll figure it out. You can’t hide shit from me.”

This sparks a sense of protectiveness in Wonwoo, the prospect of anyone laying a finger on Mingyu making him see red. He pushes Wonho, the older stumbling a bit due to his lack of sobriety.

“I already said it’s none of your business!”

Wonho pushes him back, and Wonwoo’s surprised he doesn’t topple over, instead he throws a single punch at Wonho, who stumbles to the door, obviously just as surprised as Wonwoo.

Wonwoo doesn’t want to fight, but damn him if he lets anyone pose a threat to Mingyu again.

The older holds his jaw, laughing like a lunatic before lunging forward and grabbing Wonwoo by the neck, “Don’t act like you’re the most important person in the world, Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo gets lightheaded. He remembers the feeling of drowning and pales at the similarity, his chest constricts in panic, grabbing at Wonho and prying his fingers off, but he only tightens his grip.

Wonwoo whimpers. It hurts.

“Put Wooseok first.” Wonho warns, pulling his face close, and Wonwoo only manages a few quick nods because his senses are going overdrive. Wonho smiles, “And stop talking back at me as if you’re worth shit.”

Wonho lets go of his neck and Wonwoo drops to the floor. Wonho gives him a nudge with his feet and scoffs, getting out of the house again and leaving Wonwoo rumpled on the floor.

Wonwoo gasps, the air that enters his throat burns.

He lays there, choking and thinking his windpipe was crushed, until Wooseok finds him the next morning.

 

 

 

 

 

When he was young, Wonwoo adored his family.

They had a father, who bought them the house and gave them food, loved their mother and played with them. At least that’s what he remembered.

Their father died when Wonwoo was five, and he doesn’t know if whatever memory he had of him was real, but all he knows is that he was the glue that bound their family together. When he was gone, everything started going to shit.

His mother worked to feed them, and his twelve year old brother stopped going to school because he didn’t want to be called an orphan, because he _wasn’t,_ but kids then only understood that orphans were tied to death, and their father was dead so he was qualified.

Wonwoo tried to understand him, Wonho, but he started drinking, then smoking, then not coming home and getting worse and worse.

Wonwoo grew up and saw him as a mere shadow, coming in and coming out and bringing darkness when he does.

Wonwoo remembers hating him when he yelled at their mother for the first time.

She didn’t give him money to drink, because that was for their living expenses, she needed to feed the sons who stayed with her.

But he didn’t understand that, because apparently, getting drunk is more important than his own family.

Wonwoo pushed him away from her, his love for his mother overpowering all his senses, and started telling him to earn his own money if he wanted to get shitfaced so much.

That was the first time he took a hit from Wonho.

But obviously, it wasn’t the last.

Their mother tried to stop them all the time, pulling Wonwoo behind her and daring Wonho to direct his punches at her, just for him to sneer and grumble a threat of ‘next time’ towards Wonwoo.

She dressed his wounds, told him to stop giving Wonho the satisfaction, and told him to stop trying to protect her, because she can handle herself.

But how could he? He loved his mother more than his life.

The last time she tried to stop them was when Wonho came for him with a knife.

Wonwoo was fine, he could dodge every swing his brother threw, because he’s strong yet Wonwoo’s faster. But his mother worried for him enough and yelled at them to stop, kept going until Wonwoo realized she’d gone silent, Wooseok finally breaking the locked door of their room just in time to see her fall from a heart attack.

Wonwoo was too distracted in trying to catch her to dodge Wonho’s last swing, and it sliced a clean cut across his bicep.

His brother froze at his cry, finally seeing their mother when Wonwoo fell in pain.

Wonho stared like a deer in headlights. Wonwoo already crawled to cradle his mother and started crying for help, ignoring the blood running down from the gash on his arm.

He ordered Wooseok to run and get help. And Wonho only dropped the knife with a shake of his head.

Before he started running away.

When Wooseok came back, it was already too late.

Wonwoo remembers his hope for Wonho dying together with his mother.

He loathed him since then, and the rasp in his voice from yelling for help still stings until now, burned in his memory like guilt.

Wonwoo doesn’t want him to take anyone away anymore, he won’t allow it, and he’ll make sure to do everything in his power to keep Mingyu safe.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s miserable.

A bruise forms around Wonwoo’s neck the next day, and when Soonyoung sees him he almost cries because _‘I’m sorry I couldn’t help you Wonwoo, oh my God’._

Wonwoo only pats him on the back, tries to assure him that he’s fine, but his voice sounds different and cracks at every other word, so he settles on hugging the boy close instead.

His and Wooseok’s roles reverse for a few days, the younger boy taking care of him, asking if he’s okay and if he needs anything, and Wonwoo tries to smile because his brother is trying, and caring for him in a way he didn’t even think possible.

But as the days go by it gets harder to pretend that everything is fine.

He smiles less. And Wooseok surely takes notice because suddenly he’s talking in the midst of a silent dinner, “You don’t have to take care of me, you know?”

Wonwoo only shakes his head, “Yes I do.”

“Please don’t feel obligated to do so, you know Wonho couldn’t hurt me.”

Wonwoo just shakes his head again, because it’s not just Wooseok’s life on the line this time, its Mingyu’s.

He can’t risk that.

Later that night, after he tucks Wooseok in, Wonwoo slides down the wall with his head in his hands, trying to even out his breathing. His heart aches, arms shaking with the need to be thrown over familiar shoulders, gut twisting at the memory of being held safe in the water.

He misses Mingyu so much.

He misses his smile, the way he tilts his head, the orange of his tail when Wonwoo teases him, his sweet quips, his honest eyes –hell, Wonwoo even misses his _teeth_.

But Wonho’s threat echoes in his mind everytime he finds himself walking the familiar path to the sea. And it’s enough to make him turn around

He can’t let him hurt Mingyu. And if that means leaving him alone to keep him off threat’s radar, then he’ll do it. 

 

 

 

 

 

He and Soonyoung were sat in the older boy’s room, looking at a crooked armchair his mother gave for them to fix, when Soonyoung decides to ask. “Did you break up?”

Wonwoo flinches, it’s been a week since he last saw Mingyu but it easily feels like months, and just the thought of it is enough to make his chest constrict.

He shakes his head to answer, trying not to let Soonyoung see his sour expression.

Soonyoung reads him anyway and frowns, “What happened then?”

“I just… need to keep her safe.”

“By not talking to her?”

“It’s the right thing to do.” Wonwoo tries to ignore the way Soonyoung makes a noise of disapproval, keeping his focus trained on hammering the nail down a leg of the chair.

“I don’t know about you Wonwoo, but I think the only way you can keep someone safe is to keep an eye on them.”

“And I can’t do that!” Wonwoo yells, _I did that with mother too, it didn’t work._ “So I have to keep my distance.”

“Well talk to her, then.” Soonyoung frowns at his reaction, and Wonwoo’s face falls knowing that he just yelled at his best friend, “She might take your absence the wrong way. You don’t want to hurt her do you?”

Wonwoo curses under his breath. That makes sense.

What if Mingyu starts hating Wonwoo for abandoning him? He can’t imagine the boy looking at him with anything other than innocent fascination.

If Mingyu’s angry at him he’s done for.

“It’s alright,” Soonyoung pats his back, breaking him out of his reverie and offering a small smile, “I’m sure she’s waiting for you”

Wonwoo hopes his bestfriend is right.

 

 

 

 

 

He stands at the edge of the cliff.

It’s eerily familiar, but it feels like he hasn’t been here for years, even if he was only gone for days.

The wind blows through his hair and messes it up, his brain running at two hundred thoughts a second. Is this the right thing to do? Is he right to hope that danger won’t follow him here? Maybe it was, since he knows that leaving Mingyu hanging wasn’t any better. Apologies start forming in his head when he imagines a look of betrayal in Mingyu’s face, it feels worse than being punched in the gut.  He briefly wonders, what if Mingyu wasn’t there anymore?

Wonwoo would drown.

But Wonwoo has faith in him, and he’s waited for too long to come back, so without a second thought, he jumps off.

It’s still terrifying, shooting through air only to land in water, descending interminably when he can’t do anything about it. But Wonwoo closes his eyes, tries not to think about the water, lets his arms hang loose at his side so he’d be easier to catch.

He remains stationary, and even after a few seconds of nothing Wonwoo relents against the panic working through his veins and waits, knowing he’s made Mingyu wait for longer.

He _knows_ he’ll come.

The stillness is jarring, but when Wonwoo feels a ripple in the water behind him he smiles.

Strong arms wrap around his waist, holding him close before swimming up until they’re out of the water. When they resurface Wonwoo breathes hard, anchoring himself with the warmth present behind him, the way he’s pressed up against him still feeling like the first time they met, and Wonwoo has a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that this boy is _real._

He breathes hard against Wonwoo’s neck and tightens his grip on him, his head falling forward to Wonwoo’s nape. Wonwoo doesn’t need to turn around to know who it is.

By now he knows the way his heart beats.

They don’t speak, and Wonwoo tries to calm Mingyu down by holding on to the boy’s forearm, which, truthfully, helps him ground himself as well.

“Wonwoo…” The boy’s voice cracks, and Wonwoo hasn’t quite felt that much just from someone saying his name.

The guilt comes then and the smile of relief falls from Wonwoo’s face falls into something of regret. He strokes Mingyu’s arm, the stray scales surrounding it smooth to his touch, “I’m here, Gyu. I’m here.”

“I thought,” Mingyu sounds like he’s about to sob, “I thought you hated me for what I did. I didn’t mean to do break my promise and not catch you, Wonwoo. I swear I didn’t!”

Wonwoo nods, whispering an ‘I know’ as he reaches behind him to pat through Mingyu’s hair. The boy still hasn’t pulled his head up from his nape.

“I thought you hated me, so I waited, but on the third day I started worrying, because surely by then you would’ve forgiven me.” Mingyu rambles, finally making Wonwoo turn around to look at him. He flickers his eyes over Wonwoo’s face, and his brows furrow together with his scars turning a deep purple when his gaze lands on the redness of Wonwoo’s neck, “So I thought you got hurt, and couldn’t come back anymore. I was so worried, Wonwoo. I’ve never wished to have legs as much as I have then. I just wanted to see you and make sure you’re safe.”

Wonwoo sniffles, finally throwing his arms around the boy and holding him tight. Mingyu does the same, and Wonwoo decides that this boy, this sweet, caring boy, is going to be the death of him.

“You aren’t hurt, right?” Mingyu’s asks softly. 

“No, Gyu. I’m fine. I’m sorry too.”

“But what about your neck.”

Wonwoo shudders, the haunting thought of his brother coming back and making him hold Mingyu tighter. “It’s nothing.” Wonwoo whispers, “Don’t worry about it.”

Mingyu makes a noise of protest, nosing along the back of Wonwoo’s ear, who pretends not to notice. “I can’t not worry about you, Wonwoo.”

This makes Wonwoo close his eyes. He doesn’t know what to do, he feels so positively attached to this boy, and everything he says makes him either want to jump off a cliff or protect him from any danger present, and he’s already tried doing both of those.

He strokes Mingyu’s hair, feels him relax, then he runs his hands down his neck, sliding down to his back, but then the boy winces as Wonwoo bumps against a huge gash across the middle of his spine.

“Mingyu,” Wonwoo gasps, pulling away from Mingyu to hold his face, making him look at him. “Gyu, your back.”

Mingyu shakes his head. “It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not!” Wonwoo protests, “Oh my god, what happened?”

“The tides caught me against a rock last night.” Mingyu only shrugs, leaning against Wonwoo’s hands. “Don’t worry. It will heal.”

“God, Mingyu.” Wonwoo says, getting an urge to kiss Mingyu on the forehead. He ignores it. “You have to be more careful.”

“Okay.” Mingyu nods, sending Wonwoo a small smile. Wonwoo feels relieved he said that, but they both know that it’s going to be more or less the same. They both had a tendency to run right into danger, after all.

He lets himself stare, pure longing seeping through his bones, and hopes Mingyu feels even the smallest portion of what he does.

“We must get going.” Mingyu says, removing Wonwoo’s hands from his face and pulling him along with it.

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Let’s not stay in the open too long.”

Mingyu’s brows meet when he nods and before Wonwoo knows it, he’s in his arms again. He squeezes him one more time, before leading his head to his chest and swimming backwards.

 

 

 

 

“So,” Mingyu says immediately once Wonwoo sits on the shore, surprisingly, he doesn’t swim off immediately this time, ”why?”

He doesn’t say anything else, but Wonwoo knows what he means.

“Mingyu, I don’t know what to tell you, I didn’t know what I was thinking…” Wonwoo says, keeping his eyes on his lap, afraid of meeting Mingyu’s hurt gaze, “Maybe I just… wasn’t thinking at all.”

“Were you avoiding me?”

“What? No!” Wonwoo’s head snaps up, looking straight at Mingyu and trying to show him honesty, “You know how much I want to be here. I wouldn’t risk my life jumping off a cliff if it didn’t mean I got to see you.”

Waves splash on Wonwoo’s toes while he tries to hold Mingyu’s gaze, trying to talk through his eyes, hoping that they get the message across.

Mingyu breaks his gaze, “I just,” He stares at his tail, glaring at the way it turns orange, “don’t understand.”

The slump of his shoulders takes the air from Wonwoo’s lungs. He caused this, the damage has been done.

Soonyoung was right when he said he could’ve hurt him.

Wonwoo wants to reach out and comfort Mingyu, he’s burning with the need to hold him, flames licking at the seams of his heart. He extends his arm, but lets it fall into his lap as well instead, “Me neither. I’m sorry.”

Mingyu still refuses to look at him, and his scars fight to turn orange and pink, pouting his lips and obviously holding something in. Wonwoo worries he’s overthinking, so he sucks it up and throws his arm over Mingyu’s shoulders, effectively making him look at him.

He meets Mingyu’s surprised eyes with a smile, “I’m here now, though. And I can promise I won’t leave you like that again. That matters, right?”

It’s Wonwoo’s turn to be surprised when Mingyu bites his lip and just crashes into him with an embrace, his arms not knowing what to do with themselves for a few seconds before Mingyu buries his face in his chest, making him hold him equally tight.

He’s aware the boy can hear how fast his heart is beating, but he doesn’t have the energy to care.

Mingyu missed him too, and Wonwoo holds him for all its worth.

 

 

 

 

 

Mingyu’s clingier today, and it’s honestly so endearing how he gently pulled Wonwoo into the water to swim with him, leaving no space between them as he splashes through the water.

Wonwoo isn’t too cautious about swimming with him anymore, he trusts him, and Mingyu even tries to teach him to swim for a while, but Wonwoo’s a lost cause.

This makes the both of them giggle, and they only stop when Wonwoo is shocked frozen from Mingyu splashing water at him. Cackling at the face he makes until he’s splashing him back. It turns to a one-handed water war, Mingyu having to hold on to Wonwoo’s other hand to keep him afloat. Mingyu wins the battle but Wonwoo’s sure he won the war, because Mingyu hugs him with a whine and assures him he isn’t a loser before splashing him again.

They sit shoulder to shoulder on the shore after that, Mingyu telling him stories of what he did while he was away because Wonwoo obviously can’t talk about _his_ experience. He’d rather forget about it.

Mingyu helps him with that, telling his stories with exaggerated flips of his hands and sometimes splashing his tail like he’s stomping his feet, making Wonwoo’s laugh bounce back the caves walls. When Mingyu makes a quip about seeing a giant bat the other day and swimming deep for his life, he laughs. He reminds him so much of Soonyoung and his overactive monster conjuring mind.

He really wants to introduce them to each other.

“Hey, Gyu.”

Mingyu hums, the nickname going over his head, responding to it naturally with alert eyes.

“Do you think we could meet at the boulders tomorrow? I want you to meet someone.” Wonwoo says.

Mingyu doesn’t question why it had to be outside, but he thinks it’s an unspoken rule that the cave is still their safe haven. For their eyes only.

“Sure,” Came Mingyu’s immediate response, before he tilts his head. God, Wonwoo missed that, “would it be at night?”

Wonwoo shrugs, “Maybe we should meet before the sun rises, so he could get some sleep before you see him.”

Mingyu’s brow twitches when Wonwoo says ‘he’ but he figures it was just an involuntary reaction, so he doesn’t read into it too much. Mingyu takes his time before answering, keeping his gaze on Wonwoo all the while.

“Okay,” He finally says, “But I will not stay for long, I cannot be near the shore when the sun is out.”

“Sure.” Wonwoo twists to face Mingyu completely, resting his forearms on his knees and giving him a small smile, “Sometimes I wonder if you’re a vampire merman, since you’re so afraid of the sun. Even your teeth makes it probable.”

“What’s a vampire?”

Wonwoo furrows his brow, sitting cross legged and leaning closer in disbelief, “Seriously?”

Mingyu nods, and Wonwoo chuckles before spending the rest of his night telling him every vampire folklore Soonyoung’s taught him.

 

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo trudges the path to the ocean with a still sleepy Soonyoung in tow, and he has to steady him a couple of times so he doesn’t land on his face, as hilarious as that would be.

The boy had complained about it being ‘still sleepy time’ when Wonwoo sneaked in through his bedroom window to break him out of the house, but a single mention of finally ‘getting to meet her’ had him sitting up and fully alert –enough to slip through the window without breaking an arm.

But the energy was short-lived, since he got groggy not even halfway through, grumbling about it being _so fucking far what the fuck,_ his eyes falling shut every now and then.

They end up at the beach, and when Soonyoung’s feet touch sand his brows furrow immediately, but he doesn’t say anything yet and continues to follow Wonwoo, until he stops in front of the rocks.

Soonyoung’s face falls.

“You wake me up at the asscrack of dawn and make me walk an entire country away just to make me look at rocks?” He whines.

Wonwoo ignores him, stepping on a boulder and cupping his hands over his mouth. “Mingyu!”

“Mingyu?” Soonyoung asks, a frown on his lips and brows as he runs a hand through his hair, “Who’s Mingyu? And why,” He motions around him with his arms, “why are we at the sea?”

“Just trust me.” Wonwoo waves him off.

“Wonwoo, I swear to God, if you try to feed me to a giant ocean monster I’ll–“

“Shut up, Soon.”

Their bickering comes to a halt when Soonyoung’s eyes land on something behind Wonwoo and freezes. Wonwoo has a hunch on what he saw, but he turns around anyway.

There, a couple meters away, still in the deep end of the water, is Mingyu looking at them, his hair sticking to his forehead yet looking impossibly _handsome_ , before he submerges again.

Wonwoo doesn’t realize that he’s already smiling. 

“Oh my god.” Wonwoo turns back around to see Soonyoung staring up at him with wide eyes, Wonwoo feels himself beginning to get nervous, “You– is that _her?_ You’re dating a _man?_ A fisherman? _”_

Wonwoo wants to laugh at _fisherman,_ maybe _fish-man_ is more precise. But there’s masked hurt in his tone, and the way his eyes droop in something more than drowsiness worries Wonwoo, “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

 _Oh._ Wonwoo realized only now that he’s been referring to Mingyu as her.

Other than Mingyu being a merman, Mingyu being a _man_ was a truth Soonyoung only figured out now. And although he isn’t sure if the former could’ve been divulged without sounding like a lunatic, the latter was _definitely_ an indirect lie.

Wonwoo hates the taste it leaves on his tongue, so he ducks his head and whispers, “I couldn’t exactly just tell you like that…”

“Yes, you can.” Soonyoung pouts, taking his hand in his and giving it a squeeze, “You know I’d accept you, Wonwoo. Whoever it is you decide to love.”

Wonwoo knows this, sure, if he were _just_ a boy.

Wonwoo isn’t so sure about the other part.

“I seriously doubt this one.” He whispers.

A splash sounds behind him, and Wonwoo looks behind him to see the side of Mingyu’s face glowing green, the end of his tail splashing hard against the water where he’s perched against the rock, it’s bright green too.

Wonwoo wonders why Mingyu has a frown on his face, and why his tail is in a color he hasn’t seen before; but then Soonyoung squeezes his hands with a little whimper.

Soonyoung is someone who believes in mystical creatures, telling Wonwoo stories of how they came to be and what they can do, but right now, with an actual _merman_ sitting in front of him, disbelief colors his face like a pastel painting.

“H–he’s… what the hell.” He finally speaks, his face draining of color as quickly as it gained it.

Wonwoo looks at Mingyu’s reaction and sees his eyes flicker to where Soonyoung has his hands in a death grip before flickering back to his own.

His gaze makes Wonwoo gasp, dropping Soonyoung’s hand in favor of tossing an arm over Soonyoung’s shoulders instead.

He seems to have gotten over the initial shock, and lets himself be guided into Wonwoo’s side and towards the waiting merboy.

“C’mon.” Wonwoo says when he stops walking a few feet away, patting his shoulder in reassurance, “Say hi…”

Mingyu still hasn’t said anything, his face is stoic and body rigid as he looks Soonyoung up and down, the same shade of green on his tail being tinged with a bit of pink.

He’s a bit intimidating right now, Wonwoo understands why Soonyoung’s reacting like this.

“Can, can it understand me?” Soonyoung mumbles at Wonwoo, who barely stifles a giggle when his friend waves his hand, “Hi.”

“It’s a _he,_ and yes, he does understand you.” Wonwoo rolls his eyes but gives Soonyoung a quick nudge anyway, “Go ahead, talk to him.”

Mingyu glares at him, disapproving the patronizing tone he’s using to refer to Mingyu. But Wonwoo only smiles at him and the gloom on his face clears noticeably.

He looks at Soonyoung again, making the boy gasp.

“Hi,” He says just above a whisper. “W-what’s your name?”

“Mingyu.”

Wonwoo’s gonna have to ask him about his tone later on.

“Mingyu,” Soonyoung stammers, “I uh,” He tentatively reaches out a hand, “My name’s Hoshi.”

_Hoshi?_

Wonwoo sends him a questioning look, but Soonyoung doesn’t seem to notice it as he’s too focused on the way Mingyu’s tail is getting more pink than green.

But, okay, he’s sure he’s known Soonyoung all his life, and not a moment of it was spent calling him by Hoshi.

He’s going to be asking a lot of questions by the end of this.

“Hoshi…” Mingyu smiles softly, “That’s an odd name.”

“Yeah, it means star in another language.”

“You know another language?” Mingyu’s eyes widen.

“No” Soonyoung giggles, and Wonwoo watches in amusement as Mingyu’s tail turns completely silver and swirls with pink as Soonyoung talks, “Just that word.”

Mingyu spares a glance at Wonwoo, before he finally smiles. “Oh.”

“Do you?” Soonyoung leans in curiously.

“Yes.”

Mingyu starts telling him about the time Wonwoo brought the cat here on this same place and how it called him a meal, then their conversations kick up from there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I can see why he’s your friend,” Mingyu says, the two of them watch Soonyoung’s retreating figure as he goes to walk a bit further, “he is interesting.”

Wonwoo told Soonyoung to go on ahead and wait for him by the cliff so he can send Mingyu off for a bit, and Soonyoung gave a clearly surprised Mingyu a quick hug before skipping away happily.

It was adorable, and Wonwoo’s glad to witness that they actually got along well.

But the question still stands so he doesn’t waste any more time.

“Yeah. But I just want to know,” He says, raising a brow, “Why’d you react to Soonyoung like that?”

“I thought he looked like a fool at first,” Mingyu only shrugs, a small smile playing on his lips, “turns out he wasn’t that bad.”

Yeah, _obviously_ he wasn’t that bad. Mingyu would forget to stop answering his questions if Wonwoo hadn’t reminded them that the sun’s going to rise soon.

Wonwoo giggles, a smile on his lips as he puts his hands in his pockets. “We have to go….”

Mingyu nods. “Keep safe.”

Wonwoo bites his lip before he goes and lunges himself at Mingyu, wrapping his arms around him and relishing in the way Mingyu immediately hugs him back.

“If my best friend can get a hug from you then so can I,” Wonwoo says as he pulls away, waving his hand as he walks backwards, “See you tomorrow.”

“See you.”

Wonwoo keeps his eyes on Mingyu, and the boy’s face glows gold before he shakes his head and dives back into the deep end.

 

 

 

 

 

“Guess your name really isn’t Soonyoung, huh?” Wonwoo teases when he catches up to Soonyoung, who’s sitting on the cliff’s foot.

He stands up, and dusts sand off his pants, “Shut up, I didn’t want him to know my real name.”

Wonwoo sends him a look, and Soonyoung blushes before punching his arm, “I thought he might track me down.”

“Soon, he literally can’t get past the shoreline.” Wonwoo chuckles with a shake of his head, “And he’s really sweet, he couldn’t hurt you if he tried.”

Soonyoung’s eyes burn holes at the side of Wonwoo’s face, “You talk an awful lot like you’re in love with him.”

Wonwoo doesn’t say anything, doesn’t deny it, because screw him if he lies to his bestfriend again.

Though he can’t outright admit it either.

“Oh my God, are you?” Soonyoung pulls him until they’re facing each other, and Wonwoo has to duck his head to divert his attention, “Wonwoo!”

“I’m just–“ Wonwoo’s about to protest but then Soonyoung pulls him into a tight hug. Wonwoo can feel the bunch of his cheek against his neck.

“Oh God I’m so happy for you.” Soonyoung squeezes him.

“What?” Wonwoo says in disbelief, “You’re not mad? You don’t think I’m crazy?”

“Of course not!” Soonyoung has a huge smile on his face when he pulls Wonwoo away only to hold him by the shoulders, “ _You_ finding someone who can make you happy is something I can never be mad about! That’s literally my goal in life, to make you happy or help you find someone who does.”

Wonwoo’s so happy he could cry, and when he feels his tears start to well up he pulls Soonyoung into a hug again.

“Of course you make me happy, Soon. You’re my bestfriend.” Wonwoo sobs against his best friend’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

 

 

 

 

 

“What exactly is the proper way to court on land?” Mingyu asks out of nowhere.

They were sitting side by side on the shore again, drawing on the walls, together this time. Mingyu’s making some sort of seaweed image and Wonwoo starts to draw a house.

Wonwoo turns to the boy, his scars are purple littered with pink, and so was his tail, and he bites his lip as he pretends to focus on the detail of his drawing.

“Why? You want to court someone?”

“Yes, actually.” Mingyu shrugs, and Wonwoo feels his gut twist when the boy lets his lip go, “But I want to know if they’ve been trying to court me as well. I do not want to make a fool out of myself.”

“Well,” Wonwoo coughs, turning back to his drawing and pretending to be busy, “You give them gifts, you tell them stories about yourself, they tell you about them. It doesn’t go a single fixed way, but I think it’s important when you get to meet their loved ones –family, friends, the like.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah… It usually goes like that…”

Mingyu hums, and Wonwoo sees him playing with his fingers. “You’ve introduced me to Hoshi…”

“What?!” Wonwoo spins around, a burst of protectiveness surging through him, underneath it, a simmering sense of jealousy. “Do you want to court _Hoshi?”_

“No!” Mingyu says, and Wonwoo watches him put down the shell full of moss to the side before leaning back on the rock. He gives Wonwoo a grin, “On the contrary, I’d love to court his best friend.”

The sound of a shell hitting sand rings through Wonwoo’s ears as it drops from his hold. He stares at Mingyu, dumbfounded, while the boy keeps staring at him, glowing a bit orange.

“You,” He finally says, voice soft, “you want…. You _like_ me.”

Mingyu crosses his arms, a nervous smile replacing his grin. “I thought it was obvious.”

It _was_ obvious, but Wonwoo didn’t want to confront him about it in fear of embarrassing himself. _God,_ he’s so stupid. “I didn’t want to assume!”

“Well now you don’t have to.” Mingyu shrugs.

“What the hell…” Wonwoo whispers. The boy in front of him is sporting an awfully devastating smirk, “When did you get all bold, Gyu?”

“I think it was already a bold move of me to save you the first time,” Mingyu shrugs again, “and if my speculations are right, then you might’ve been trying to court me since you mentioned Hoshi.”

Wonwoo can’t handle the sudden shift of control, so he decides to mess with Mingyu a bit. He tilts his head. “What if I was just being friendly?”

Mingyu immediately straightens, and tail changes to purple as he turns to Wonwoo, giving him a pout paired with his puppy eyes. “Were you?”

He’s gonna be the death of him.

Wonwoo sighs and decides he’s had enough. In a brave move, he takes Mingyu’s hand and laces their fingers together, “What do you think?”

Mingyu brightens up, his eyes going to the way their fingers curl around each other, and for the first time, Wonwoo sees him glow completely gold.

“So I _can_ court you?” He beams.

“You can skip it,” Wonwoo says, squeezing his hand and giving it a short kiss, “I think you’ve been doing it all this time.”

The boy makes a noise so close to a squeal, before he throws himself in Wonwoo’s arms and embraces him. Wonwoo hugs him back, and he’s smiling so big he feels like his face might rip, and Mingyu’s giggling a little in his ear.

Mingyu moves to pull away, and although Wonwoo doesn’t want to let go he does so reluctantly. Mingyu makes up for the distance and kisses Wonwoo’s forehead.

“Wait here.” Mingyu says when he pulls away, smiling at the red of Wonwoo’s face.

He slinks away and swims outside the cave, when he comes back, he has something clutched in his hand.

“Since you mentioned gifts.” Mingyu says, opening his hand and revealing a necklace. Wonwoo holds his breath.

It’s actually just three pearls, two of them smaller than the one in the middle, tied together with a thin string and locked with small hooks.

It’s such a simple thing, but he can’t stop looking at it, and when Mingyu clasps it around his neck his hands immediately find it and holds it gently.

The pearls sit heavy in his hands, and Wonwoo thinks this is the most beautiful thing he’s seen; the stars caught from the sky and allowed to sit over his heart.

“I’ve had it made for quite a while, but I didn’t know when I could give it to you.” Mingyu says, “Do you like it?”

“Mingyu it’s…” Wonwoo chokes on a breath. He’s so happy he could cry, and he does, “It’s perfect.”

“ _Love_.” Mingyu coos, taking him in his arms in an instant, and Wonwoo allows himself to be held as he buries his face in his neck

 _Oh God._ Mingyu just called him _love._ He just about has a heart attack then and there.

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?” Mingyu says against his hair.

“Th–the _love_ thing.”

Mingyu pulls him away, and Wonwoo can feel the pout on the boy’s lips tug at his heartstrings, “But I love you.”

“You’re killing me.” Wonwoo says, head falling on Mingyu’s chest.

They stay like that for a while, Wonwoo’s head over Mingyu’s heart and listening to his heartbeat while the other cards his fingers through his hair. Wonwoo sighs, feeling comfortable. Mingyu doesn’t seem to mind, relaxing when Wonwoo fixes himself into a more comfortable position but there’s obviously something bothering him.

“You don’t love me?” He speaks up.

Wonwoo sighs, getting up from Mingyu’s chest and ignoring the way he wants to just go back when he does. He takes his face in his hands, smiling when Mingyu closes his eyes at the feeling of Wonwoo’s thumb brushing his cheek.

“Of course I love you.” Wonwoo whispers.

And Wonwoo wants to tell him how much, but finds that words are futile devices, that there aren’t even enough of them to describe how much he feels for this boy.

So he kisses him.

It catches Mingyu off-guard, and his eyes burst open for a second before he relaxes, hand slipping over the side of Wonwoo’s neck, holding him close.

The touch burns, anchoring Wonwoo to the moment and when he pulls away Mingyu just kisses him again, and again, and again.

Mingyu burns bright gold with the luminosity of a thousand suns.

 

 

 

 

 

The house seems to be sunnier the next morning, and Wonwoo greets Wooseok with a smile and doesn’t mind when it isn’t returned. He gives him a breakfast of bread stuffed with cheese and ignores the weird look Wooseok gives him.

“Why did you serve nice food today?” Wooseok raised his brow.

Wonwoo shrugs, “Because I wanted to.”

He takes a bite on the pastry and moans, his tongue approving the taste of something other than the usual boiled vegetables he takes from the neighbors open garden.

It’s not stealing, his mother used to work for that neighbor and they used to give them food. It continued even after she died.

Wonwoo leans back on his chair when he’s done, and he feels the necklace settle on his sternum, making him smile again.

“Are you sick?” Wooseok says, chewing slowly and looking at him skeptically.

“No.” Wonwoo takes the plate and wipes it down with a clean towel before putting it back on the rack, “I feel pretty good actually.”

“Did something happen last night?” Wooseok says, and Wonwoo’s heart skips a beat at the implication, “Where’d you even _go_?”

“You woke up?”

“Yeah, but I just went back to sleep.” Wooseok shrugged, “I said you didn’t have to take care of me. I’m just wondering where you go all the time.”

“I work.” Wonwoo lies.

“Oh?”

“Yeah.”

“Where?”

Wonwoo swallowed. He fights the urge to hold the pearls on his neck to calm him down. “Somewhere far.”

“Oh.” Wooseok nods, but he doesn’t look entirely convinced. “Okay.”

“I’ll be out again later,” Wonwoo says when he turns around, “just so you know.”

“It’s fine. I’ll be asleep.” Wooseok shrugs.

Wonwoo sighs his brother’s curiosity is something that still hasn’t died down at all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mingyu held Wonwoo in his arms and played with his fingers. Pressing soft kisses against his head as they laid in relative silence, save for the waves crashing against the shore and the occasional slap of Mingyu moving his tail.

Wonwoo closed his eyes, a question popping up in his head out of nowhere. He held Mingyu’s hand. “Can you tell me about the first time you saved me?”

Mingyu tenses up behind him, and Wonwoo turns to peck him on the cheek.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me.”

“No, uh, sure, I can.”

“You sure?” Wonwoo says.

Mingyu only nods, and Wonwoo leans back against him as he takes a deep breath and starts.

“You were drunk. And passed out. I was swimming to the cave when someone dropped right beside me and I panicked, because I wasn’t supposed to be seen by anyone, so I moved to swim away, but then I noticed you just kept on sinking, and the waves have already slammed you onto the wall of rocks when you landed, so I wondered if you were dead.” Mingyu stops to breathe, obviously pained to imagine Wonwoo again in that state, Wonwoo holds his hand.

Mingyu continues, “You were busted up, yeah, but you were alive. I felt your heart fighting to beat when I touched you, but your face was in agony, and I couldn’t take it. So I pulled you up, swam you to shore. Made sure you were breathing before I left.”

Wonwoo adjusts himself, pressing his ear to Mingyu’s chest, listening to his heartbeat.

“The next time it happened you were awake, and you looked right at the sky before your eyes closed. I was so scared. I thought I was too late. I never swam that fast ever.” Wonwoo giggled, Mingyu kissing the top of his head, “The next few days I figured you would do it again, so I waited for you. And, funnily enough, it was both a comfort and a disappointment to not find you.”

“Why?” Wonwoo sat up.

Mingyu grabs his chin gently, “In a way I was glad you weren’t sinking to your death anymore, but in another, I kind of missed your handsome face.”

“Shut up.”

Wonwoo blushes, pushing Mingyu away by the face, the boy laughing high pitched and making Wonwoo laugh along.

“I can only remember the second time.” Wonwoo sighs.

“Yeah that’s my fault.”

“It is, huh?” Wonwoo said sarcastically.

They were facing each other now, and Mingyu nodded with a playful glint in his eyes.

“And the wounds?” Wonwoo squints, “How can you heal them?”

Mingyu smiles sheepishly, “I’d rather not disclose how.”

“ _C’mon_.” Wonwoo whines, picking up a jagged rock behind him and holding it to his skin, “What? Do you need me to hurt myself so you can show me?”

Mingyu’s eyes widen in panic, “Please don’t hurt yourself.”

“Then tell me.”

“I do not–“

“ _Gyu_.”

Mingyu sighs, wrapping his hand around the one Wonwoo’s using to clutch the rock and peeling it from his grip to throw it away before leaning into Wonwoo to kiss his forehead. Wonwoo blushes.

Keeping his lips pressed to his forehead, Mingyu merely whispers, “I kissed them better.”

A smile starts to creep into Wonwoo’s face, but it quickly falls and he pushes Mingyu away when he realizes something.

“Even my feet?!”

Mingyu shrugs, “They were cleaned enough by the wat–“

“That’s disgusting!”

Mingyu cackles, holding his stomach at the glares Wonwoo sends him, dodging when he splashes water at him. Splashing Wonwoo back with his tail, immediately soaking him.

Wonwoo sits there with his wet hair covering his eyes, a pout on his lips, “I don’t allow you to kiss me again ever!”

Mingyu laughs again, leaning forward and pressing a sweet peck to Wonwoo’s cheek, “I used my tears for your feet, my love. There is no need to worry.”

Wonwoo’s heart flips at the nickname, then again when he realize what Mingyu meant.

He moves his hair out of his eyes. “You cried for me?”

“It’s not always that you get to discover a beautiful man only to know he is half dead.” Mingyu shrugs.

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo smiles. “I don’t.”

 

 

 

 

 

A few minutes later Wonwoo’s standing on the edge of the rock inside the cave, below him, Mingyu hollers for him to jump. Wonwoo gets memories of last time, and he knows Mingyu does too, but they choose to ignore it because honestly? Wonwoo has fun cliff diving now.

Getting to hug Mingyu discreetly is just a bonus.

Wonwoo giggles when Mingyu dances them around in the water, his hands on his waist, breath on his cheek, and the patterns on the side of his face glowing gold.

Lately, Mingyu’s tail has been nothing but gold when he’s around Wonwoo, spare the occasional orange when Wonwoo teases him and calls him _baby_ , and he thinks that he looks _beautiful_. Breathtakingly so.

If someone had told Wonwoo before that he’d be in love with someone and esteem them more precious than gold, he’d have laughed at them.

But here he is now, hiding a smile against the neck of the boy he values more than life itself, and it isn’t so far-fetched anymore.

“Mingyu?”

The boy hums, pressing a quick peck to his temple. Wonwoo sighs.

“What happens if one day I jump and you aren’t there?”

Mingyu only kisses his lips softly. “Nothing. Because it won’t happen.”

“But what if–“                             

“I’m not leaving you.” Mingyu says, looking deep into Wonwoo’s eyes. He sees nothing but honesty in them. “Not you, Wonwoo. Never you.”

Wonwoo believes him. Completely.

 

 

 

 

They agree to meet at the boulders the next few days, because it’s another full moon, but they still can’t be away from each other too long.

When Wonwoo gets there, he sees Mingyu already sitting on a boulder, looking up at the sky, tail silver and reflecting its light like a mirror. Wonwoo stands back, admiring the boy who’s so unprecedentedly mesmerizing that it confuses him, how someone this perfect can exist.

Mingyu seems to notice his presence though, and when he turns around his face lights up, along with it, his tail burns gold. 

He glows like a second moon. And closer to the ground, maybe he’s even brighter.

Wonwoo walks to sit by him, and when he does Mingyu turns back to the sky.

Wonwoo doesn’t, though. Why would he? All the stars in the sky don’t compare to Mingyu’s smile.

“The moon looks beautiful tonight.” Wonwoo says out of nowhere, without even looking at it.

Mingyu agrees, moving his eyes to it, oblivious to the way Wonwoo admires him.

                                                                                                                                       

 

 

 

 

Gratefulness is something rare for Wonwoo, but in the next few weeks he is nothing but grateful.

He’s been able to spend time with Mingyu and go home without a hitch. No Wonho, no questions from Wooseok, just occasional teasing from Soonyoung, especially after he saw the necklace.

The necklace helps calm him down, sometimes helps him sleep, and he finally went to his mother’s grave a couple of days ago to tell her about Mingyu.

Wonwoo takes the clouds dispersing at that moment as approval from her.

He tells Mingyu as much, and the boy smiles fondly at him and says he wishes he’d met her. Saying that he knows she’d be amazing; Wonwoo agrees, and he knows he wishes they had met too.

Mingyu makes him so _happy,_ and everytime they meet Wonwoo feels himself be filled with love he didn’t even know was possible for him after his mother died. And it just makes him want to kiss Mingyu over and over because he just can’t get enough.

So he does. And the smile Mingyu gives him every time is enough to keep him going.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s another full moon, and the two of them sit together on a rock, Wonwoo’s head pillowed against a broad shoulder, as he sings a soft tune.

“You have a nice voice.” Mingyu says, running a gentle hand along Wonwoo’s back.

Wonwoo does the same, following the glowing scar on the center of Mingyu’s back.

“Thank you.” Wonwoo says, kissing Mingyu’s chest, “I bet you do too.”

“Oh, I do.” Mingyu chuckles, “It’s enough to put people to sleep, actually.”

“Really?” Wonwoo looks up.

Mingyu nods, raising an eyebrow at Wonwoo. “How’d you think I knocked you out when you decided to come looking for me, huh?”

“By the power of disbelief?”

“The power of what?”

“Like,” Wonwoo pauses to sit up, leaning his face on his hand and staring up at Mingyu lovingly, “I couldn’t believe God put in so much effort on making such an attractive face.”

“Oh my God.”

Wonwoo laughs, Mingyu learned that phrase from him.

He hides his face in his hands, scars and tail growing a bright orange. And Wonwoo feels so fucking _fond_ of him, he can’t do anything but pull the boy’s hands from his face and kiss his lips.

Wonwoo has his eyes closed, but he notices the glow go softer, from a bright orange to a gleaming gold, and when Mingyu’s arms wrap softly around his back, he knows he’s won.

 

 

 

 

 

Unbeknownst to him, a young boy watches them with wide eyes.

It is something to see your brother kiss a man, it’s another when the man has a tail for legs –a _glowing_ tail at that.

Wooseok holds his breath, watching the scene unfold before his eyes, but he feels so _wrong_ ; not because he’s seeing his brother kiss a man, not because he’s seeing his brother kiss a _merman –_ but because he couldn’t trust him enough to know that he wasn’t doing anything that could hurt himself and followed him to a well-kept secret.

He’s invading his privacy.

And Wooseok feels regrets seep in his bones so he creeps backward to go home and leave them alone.

But his back hits a rigid torso and he goes to scream, but there’s a hand suddenly covering his mouth and an arm wrapped tightly around him, a knee pinning his legs to the rock.

“Would you look at that?”

Wooseok freezes, fear crawling up his spine at the voice.

 _Wonho_.

Wonho was behind him. He followed him and is seeing what he’s seeing right now.

Wooseok wants to yell, to warn Wonwoo and tell him to be careful, but everything that comes out the rag over his mouth is muffled, even the sea is louder than him.

Wonwoo pulls away from the boy, and the pure love in his eyes is enough to bring Wooseok to tears.

They are in danger.

“That would cost a fortune.” Wonho whispers in his ear, and Wooseok struggles only to be held tighter, “Imagine it, brother. The world at our feet.”

Wooseok cries. He doesn’t want to be part of anything his vile brother is planning. He wants to save Wonwoo.

But he can’t move.

“We will live a better life.” Wonho pulls him up, dragging him away from the scene, “Who cares about him anyway?”

Wooseok kicks his feet trying to alert Wonwoo, but it sounds like waves crashing against rocks and barely catches his attention.

 

 

 

 

 

They arrive at the foot of the cliff.

“Let go of me!” Wooseok yells, and Wonho does, tossing him harshly on the sand and snarling at him.

“What are you crying about?” Wonho gets up on his face, holding it roughly so he’s facing him, “I’m trying to give you a better life, don’t you want that?!”

“No! If you hurt any one of them for it, then no!” He’s thrown back again, but he stands back up and looks pleadingly at Wonho, “It’s not worth it, Wonho. Please, let them be happy!”

“Happy? He’s been happy all his life!” Wonho yells at him, pointing a finger at his face as he holds his collar, “It’s our turn now! But if you don’t want to be part of it, then I suggest you keep out of my business and get your ass home.”

Wonho walks back to where they left Wonwoo, and Wooseok has an urge to go home, but he can’t leave Wonwoo now.

So he hides, and a few hours later Wonho comes dragging an unconscious Wonwoo on his back.

Wooseok follows them.

 

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo wakes up with a sack over his head.

There’s something wet on his lip, dripping from his nose and the side of his head. He tries to wipe it away, but his arms are tied behind him, so are his feet. It burns, and his nose is clogged with what seems to be blood so he breathes through his mouth, groaning when the bag shifts and touches the left side of his face.

“Oh, you’re awake.”

Wonwoo shoots up, anger burning through his veins at the familiar voice.

The bag is pulled from his head, and he comes face to face with the smirk of his older brother.

He’s doesn’t know where he is, because this certainly isn’t their house, and he’s tied to a long pole of what looks to be an old barn.

“You’ve been out for almost an entire day,” Wonho claps his hand, sighing in delight when Wonwoo winces at the sound, “thought you were dead, if I’m being honest. But it’s time for me to go anyway, so this’ll be short.”

“What are you do–Why am I here?!” Wonwoo seethes through the buzz of pain in his head.

Wonwoo’s heart throbs with worry, he only remembers walking a few steps away from Mingyu before everything went black.

Wonho pats him on the shoulder, making him groan in pain. He smirks, “You thought you could hide your treasure, Wonwoo? Keep it for yourself?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“A little siren from the sea would cost a kingdom if put in the right hands.” Wonho stands up, pacing a little before stopping right in front of him, he sighs dramatically, “Unfortunately, it fell into your sappy hands.”

Wonwoo pieces it together; a siren from the sea, passing out after seeing Mingyu, a _treasure._

Wonho saw Mingyu.

This makes Wonwoo freeze, fear filling his eyes as he looks up at Wonho.

“No.”

“Yes!” Wonho laughs, “But it’s not just yours anymore, Wonwoo.”

“Don’t you dare,” Wonwoo rages, struggles against the bonds, trying to slip his hands free to no avail, “Don’t you lay a finger on him, Wonho!”

“Or what!?” Wonho yells, throwing his hands up, “You can’t stop me Wonwoo.” He crouches in front of Wonwoo, taunting him with a smile, “You’re all tied down.”

“You monster!”

“No,” He shakes a finger in front of the struggling Wonwoo’s face, “that guy you have there? _He’s_ the monster. The king would kill to have him in the palace.”

Wonwoo couldn’t disagree more. Mingyu could never be a monster. And what’s funny is that he and Wonho had the same idea the first time he saw Mingyu, but Wonwoo knows now that he wouldn’t trade Mingyu for all the gold in the world.

Wonho is oblivious to Wonwoo’s thoughts, pulling the door open walking out. “I’m gonna be rich!”

“Wonho!” Wonwoo yells, struggling harder and trying to stop him one last time.

“Bye, _brother.”_ Wonho pulls the door closed, and a lock clicks.

Now Wonwoo was truly alone.

“Don’t touch him, Wonho! No! Please no!” Wonwoo knows he can still hear him, so he begs, helplessly thrashing around in his bonds because he can’t let him hurt _Mingyu_. “Please, I beg you. Please.”

Wonho doesn’t come back, and Wonwoo hangs his head as the first tears fall from his eyes.

“Not him.” He whispers, “Please not him.”

 

 

 

 

 

Mingyu waits for Wonwoo patiently, he’s a bit late tonight.

Perched on top of a tall rock he sees almost everything, and his face lights up when he sees a figure approaching him.

He moves closer wanting to see Wonwoo immediately, but his face falls when he sees an unknown face.

He’s holding a net.

Mingyu’s heart races in fear, and he goes to dive into the water but the net was already thrown on top of him.

He’s caught, and he thrashes around to get it off but the man straddles him and sits on his tail.

Mingyu gasps, going for a punch but the net tightens.

Mingyu’s blood runs cold, he can’t move, and his tail darkens into a deep purple. He moves to sing but the man beats him to it by speaking.

“You know,” The man starts to say, and there’s a sneer on his face, “purple is Wonwoo’s favorite color.”

Mingyu freezes at the mention of Wonwoo’s name, worry flooding his system. “Where is he?!”

He smirks, “You don’t have to kn–“

The boy suddenly drops unconscious on the sand, and when Mingyu looks up, Hoshi is standing with a rock in his hands.

“Hoshi.” Mingyu breathes in relief.

“It’s Soonyoung.”

“What?”

Hoshi starts untangling him from the net, and when he finally gets out Hoshi gives him a smile. “My name’s Soonyoung.”

Mingyu’s eyes widen. “Oh.”

“I have to go,” Soonyoung says, sparing a glare at the passed out man, “I’ll report this lunatic to the guards.”

Mingyu nods. “Thank you.”

“Keep safe for Wonwoo, yeah?”

Soonyoung runs off, and Mingyu spares one last look at the man before diving into the water, worry for Wonwoo overpowering every other thought.

 

 

 

 

 

“Hyung!” There’s a hand tapping his face, “Hyung, wake up!”

Everything rushes back into focus, and Wonwoo realizes that he’s cried himself to sleep, but the ties from his arms are off. And Wooseok is untying the ones on his leg.

His brother is crying, Wonwoo holds his face in his hands and wipes his tears.

“Why are you crying?”

“I–I’m sorry, hyung.” Wooseok sobbed, finally cutting Wonwoo free.

Wonwoo takes him in his arms. “What are you apologizing about?”

“I followed you!” Wooseok yells, wiping his cheeks harshly. “I followed you and Wonho followed me. I’m so sorry, hyung. I should’ve minded my own business.”

His words finally sink in, and the anger and worry make a terrible concoctions in his heart, blurring out everything else he’s saying.

Finally Wonwoo regains his senses, he whispers, “Where’s Mingyu?”

But Wooseok doesn’t stop rambling with his eyes closed. “I reported Wonho to the guards. I–I told them that he’s insane and he wanted to kill you, I didn’t mean to hurt you, hyung, I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have followed you, I’m sorry.”

“Goddammit Seok where’s Mingyu?!” Wonwoo finally snaps.

“I sent Soonyoung-hyung to help him.” Wooseok says with wide, apologetic eyes, “I’m so sorry hyung, I’m so sorry.”

“I know.” Wonwoo stands, wiping the blood from his face with his sleeve, he gives Wooseok a withering glare. “You go home, keep close to any guard.”

He doesn’t say anything else, running out to the sea in fear of being too late.

 

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo reaches the cliff, stopping a few feet from the summit to catch his breath.

He straightens when he hears something scuffing right behind him. A manic chuckle following.

Wonwoo turns and there he is, his brother, standing in front of him with a gun pointed to his chest.

Wonho tilts his head. “You think I wouldn’t catch you, little brother?”

Wonwoo breathes slowly, keeping his hands in front of him as he tries to inch closer to the edge without making it obvious, maintaining eye contact with his brother to keep his attention there.

He feels the edge at the balls of his feet, Wonwoo smiles.

“Oh, I counted on it,” Wonwoo taunts, stepping back one more time, “But you aren’t the only one who can catch me.”

Wonwoo moves to jump, but a loud explosion sounds and he feels something pierce his chest.

He briefly registers falling into water before it all turns black.

 

 

 

 

 

In Wonho’s eyes, his brother is dead, gone and out of his life, sinking to the bottom of the ocean without a trace. And he walks back to the kingdom where palace guards are waiting to arrest him.

But someone else’s eyes fill with tears at the sight of red surrounding the bleeding boy’s body.

A purple dash swims towards Wonwoo at a superhuman speed, his tears mixing with saltwater as he gently tries to maneuver Wonwoo into the cave without making him bleed out even more.

Mingyu lays him on the shore, his blood staining the sand and being carried away by waves and Mingyu is so, so _scared_ when he pulls the boys shirt open and sees the gaping bullet hole.

“Wonwoo, hey.” Mingyu tries to coax him into consciousness, but the boy’s breaths are getting shallow and he’s losing so much blood. _Oh God there’s so much blood._ “Wonwoo please, please stay alive for me, okay?”

Mingyu cries, but he can’t have blurry eyes if he wants to save Wonwoo. So he wipes at them and swims quickly to find a sharp rock that he can use to pull the bullet out, and he cringes at the thought of having to hurt Wonwoo even more, but he has to get it out before he heals him or else he’ll die anyway.

Mingyu’s blood runs cold at the thought of Wonwoo, and he doesn’t notice the first time his tail cools to a dark blue.

Mingyu starts to pull the bullet out, and Wonwoo must feel it, it must’ve hurt him, because a choked groan comes from his lips and makes Mingyu freeze.

There’s a trail of blood going from his mouth now and Mingyu sobs, “Stay with me, love. Stay with me.”

Mingyu moves quickly, and soon the bullet is landing on the sand and Mingyu quickly lets himself cry over Wonwoo’s wound.

“It’s because of me, it’s because of me,” Mingyu sobs, tears now flowing freely where blue marks the sides of his face. “Oh God, Wonwoo. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have –I put you in danger.”

He sees Wonwoo’s skin slowly closing up, and through his tears he smiles, but cries even harder knowing what he has to do.

He can heal him. He can heal him and he’s gonna be okay and he’ll get to live his life.

But that wouldn’t be enough.

He needs to do more, keep him from danger because he _loves_ him.

Loves him enough to know that his difference is something that will always be exploited, and danger will chase him everywhere, and if Wonwoo follows him into that life…

No. He can’t let him. He shouldn’t.

Not anymore.

So he will save his life one last time, no matter how much his heart will break, shatter into a million dandelion wishes of purely Wonwoo’s name.

He’s the best thing to ever happen to Mingyu, but he knows what he must do.

When the wound closes completely Mingyu spares one last look at Wonwoo. He can almost see the lines of his face when he smiles, memorized it to its last detail.

He commits his beauty to memory.

Mingyu chokes on his tears, lets himself hear the boy’s heartbeat grow steady with every passing second, before he finally pulls his head up. “I love you, Wonwoo.”

With tear stained lips, he kisses him one last time.

 

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo wakes with a start.

He pushes himself off where he’s lying, and his hands land on sand.

His shirt is open, alarmingly stained with blood and he tries to remember if he’s been attacked by a shark, because he’s _obviously_ gone for a swim. But the bad this is, he doesn’t even know how he _got_ here.

There’s a cliff near him, and when Wonwoo’s eye’s land on it he feels an odd twinge in his chest, but then it gets worse, and Wonwoo feels like he’s trying to remember the feeling of getting shot.

But then a wave touches his toe and makes him back away at lightning speed, after all these years, he’s still so afraid of the water.

He stands, sighing at all the peculiar things he has to put himself through.

It’s gonna be a hell of a walk back.

 

 

 

 

 

Opening the door to immediately find Soonyoung with his brother is giving him a whiplash.

Far as he knew, Wooseok doesn’t like talking to the both of them, only talking when he needs something, so seeing him hold hands with his best friend in what looks like a prayer has him _confused._

He knocks lightly on the door, but it’s enough for them to snap their heads up and beam.

Wooseok runs up and hugs him. Making Wonwoo freeze because _what the hell?_

He seems to take notice of how rigid he went, because Wooseok looks at him and sniffles.

_Is he crying?_

“Hyung, hyung I know you’re mad at me, but please don’t act like that.”

Wonwoo pushes him away by the shoulders, a frown on his face. “Why would I be mad at you?”

A look crosses Wooseok’s face but Wonwoo doesn’t have time to dwell on it because a second later Soonyoung comes hurtling into his arms.

“Wonwoo!” Soonyoung sobs, arms tightening around him, “Wonwoo, oh my God.”

Wonwoo tries to comfort him, tell him that it’s okay and that he doesn’t have to cry, but he doesn’t even know what he’s crying about so it doesn’t really work.

Soonyoung pulls away, quickly fussing over him and messing up his face, “You’re okay! Oh God, you’re okay. Wonho went home alone and we were so worried, but we had him arrested, he’s gone, he’s not going to come back anymore.”

Wonwoo freezes.

They had Wonho _arrested?_

“You ha–what? Why?” Wonwoo sputters, holding Soonyoung’s arms to stop him from fidgeting.

“What do you mean why?! He tried to–“ Soonyoung stops mid-ramble, and his eyes go wide with something Wonwoo recognizes as fear, “Oh my God, Wonwoo?”

Why are they acting like this? Wooseok’s acting clingy to him and now Soonyoung just randomly stops talking with fear in his eyes. It’s scaring him.

“He tried to what, Soonyoung? What did he do?” He looks at the both of them, they both have the same look of remorse on their face. Wonwoo’s heartbeat is picking up in panic, “What!?”

“Wonwoo,” Soonyoung says softly, taking his hand. “Where’s Mingyu?”

“Who?”

Soonyoung’s face falls.

 

 

 

 

 

After a few tense seconds of just staring at Wonwoo like he’s some sort of art piece, Soonyoung finally convinces him to change clothes, because seeing him stained with blood is apparently gonna give Soonyoung plenty of nightmares.

When Wonwoo undresses, he’s surprised to find a necklaced perched around his neck, not knowing how it got there, and his heart aches the moment his fingers touch it.

Confusion spreads on his face when he sees his reflection crying, touching the wetness on his cheek and finding it hard to breathe, he sobs but he doesn’t know what he’s crying about.

The necklace feels like a heavy foot pressed on his chest, burning against his skin like hot coal, and he quickly removes it, dropping it into the counter and walking right out of the room.

He bumps on Wooseok along the way, and Wonwoo doesn’t even have time to think about being shirtless because he’s wearing the same apologetic eyes, making Wonwoo squirm, and he pushes past him.

In the room, Wooseok sees the necklace on the ground and carefully tucks it safe within Wonwoo’s drawer.

 

 

 

 

 

The next morning, Soonyoung asks him if he wanted to go to the beach, and Wonwoo stared at him like he wondered if this was really his bestfriend.

Soonyoung knew Wonwoo absolutely _hated_ the sea, or any body of water at that, and Wonwoo gets annoyed at the insistence enough to actually yell at Soonyoung, the guilt after it not being able to make the boy turn from walking back home.

Frustrated, Wonwoo takes a bath and goes wide eyed at his naked reflection. There, on the left side of his chest where his heart should be, is a circular scar resembling the sun’s rays.

He doesn’t know why he didn’t see it yesterday, but chalks it up to his eyes being blurry from tears, because the thing is so damn _noticeable._

The scar is huge, lighter than the rest of his body, almost an offset white on his already pale skin.

If Wonwoo looks close enough, he could have said it was glowing.

He touches it, and a loud bang echoes in his ear and almost makes him slip on the floor. He grips the sink tightly and breathes hard.

“Wooseok!”

There’s a sound of hurried footsteps before Wooseok yells out, “Yeah?”

“Tell the neighbors to quit using firecrackers this early, can you?”

“Hyung…” Wooseok tentatively says, “Nobody’s using firecrackers.”

_He must be messing with him._

“Just do it, okay? I’m not in the mood for games today.”

Wooseok grumbles before moving away, and when Wonwoo doesn’t hear him say anything he alost yells again, but decides against it.

 

 

 

 

 

“I just wanted to take you to the sea, you know? Maybe help you conquer your fear.”

They were sitting on Soonyoung’s bed after Wonwoo apologized for the way he acted earlier, and Soonyoung was fiddling with his fingers and avoiding Wonwoo’s eye; that in itself was confusing enough, since Soonyoung was usually the type to get all in your face even in apologies.

“I don’t need to conquer my fear, Soonyoung.” Wonwoo says, sitting closer so he can lay his head on his shoulder, frowning when he doesn’t quite fit right which can’t be because he’s done this with Soonyoung for _years_. But somehow it seems like his shoulder is too low.

“But I want you to.” Soonyoung whines, laying his head over Wonwoo’s and sighing. “I just want you to be happy again.”

Wonwoo chuckles, “How can the sea make me happy? I hate it.”

Soonyoung his hand in his and squeezes it once, and Wonwoo is left with a feeling of not being held _right._ “Oh, you’d be surprised.”

Wonwoo doesn’t understand, so he just closes his eyes and sleeps dreamlessly.

 

 

 

 

 

Wooseok brings up the thought of skipping rocks at the beach one morning as they ate their vegetables, making Wonwoo glare at him.

“Not you too…”

“What?” Wooseok shrugs, “At least you won’t be swimming. I heard the sea breeze is healthy for the lungs.”

“Where did you hear that?” Wonwoo snorts.

“Soonyoung hyung.”

Wonwoo stabs a carrot with his fork and chortles, “You know you shouldn’t listen to Soonyoung’s suggestions, don’t you?”

“Hyung,” Wooseok says, his tone bordering the same apologetic tone he’s used since the day Wonwoo woke up at the beach. He’s kind of getting sick of it. “we just want to make you feel better.”

“About what?” Wonwoo snaps, having enough of them being cryptic, “Why don’t you just tell me instead of trying to make me go to a drown hole?”

“You wouldn’t believe us if we do…”

“Try me.”

Wooseok looks at him like he’s considering it, but he just sighs and shakes his head. “Nevermind.”

Wonwoo scoffs. Wooseok looks at him the way he always does when they fight, and leaves the dinner table with his plate in his hands.

 

 

 

 

 

Wooseok and Soonyoung keep trying to get him to go to the sea, day after day after day. And after months of it, it gets old. Old enough that the moment they say ‘sea’, Wonwoo just shuts down and everything passes from his right ear to go out the left.

But that doesn’t mean it stops bothering him. At first it was only a few small things, like jolting alert after staring into nothing for a few seconds, then the scar on his chest started burning like a fresh wound, until the worst thing happened and he started getting nightmares of drowning.

It’s the same thing every night, his mind flooded with the vision of water and blood and sinking until it all turns black. He can’t breathe, every little movement makes something dig into his chest, and he grasps for something, _anything_ that could save him _._ And just when he feels something about to pull him up, he startles awake.

He always wakes up panting, fighting for the breath his dreams forbid him to take. And somehow, there would also be tears in his eyes, a name whispered in his head before it goes away like smoke.

That makes Wonwoo feel like shit, like he’s missing someone he doesn’t know.

Tonight Wonwoo took the worst parts of everything and stitched them together in a dream.

His mother dying, his brother yelling at him, and the unescapable vision of red water as he drowns.

He yells, but it comes out as bubbles and allows water into his throat. He chokes, and when he feels an arm wrap around him, he gets pulled into consciousness.

Wonwoo shoots awake, waking up in cold sweat and already knowing that he’s in tears.

He pulls his shirt off and clutches his chest, almost sobbing with how much it hurts; it was like water was pumping through his veins, diluted and not enough to keep him going, it has him feeling lightheaded and frail.

Standing up on wobbling legs, Wonwoo drops his soaked shirt and moves to his drawers to pull a new one out –but something solid catches on the fabric and drops loudly on the floor.

His breath hitches when he sees what it is, but he picks it up anyway.

The immediate relief the necklace brings him is beyond his comprehension, but he clings to it, sits beside the drawer and clutches it hard in his hands until his breath evens out.

When his head clears, he opens his palm to look at it, and he can’t help but think it looks like someone’s smile.

He brings it to bed and sleeps with it under his pillow.

 

 

 

 

 

The necklace is Wonwoo’s talisman.

After that night, he kept it under his pillow and reached for it when he wakes himself up from a nightmare, letting it anchor him to this reality; in his room, with the moonlight bright and not broken by water.

He keeps it there at night but finds that it wasn’t enough, so he wears it around his neck. Suddenly he feels safe all day, invulnerable to threat, like a small piece of jewelry could protect him from anything.

Soonyoung notices it one day –his face lights up but doesn’t comment on it –instead he hugs Wonwoo and says “you’ll be okay.”

Huh, Wonwoo must really look like shit for Soonyoung to notice him not being okay.

But then again, Soonyoung notices everything, so he just hugs him back.

 

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo decides, in a spur of the moment decision, to walk to the sea.

The sun hasn’t risen yet, and he leaves Wooseok on the bed (the younger wanted to keep him company when he sleeps, _to protect him_ , he said, but Wonwoo’s sure it’s just more comfortable here), slipping out quietly and looking out the deserted streets of the outer circle.

It’s dark, and Wonwoo sees a few stars littered here and there across the purple sky, the moon a fading entity as the sun slowly takes over.

Wonwoo doesn’t know what comes over him, but he breaks out in a sprint when he thinks about the rising sun, wanting to preserve the darkness and see the stars over the ocean, or at least watch it rising on the oceans horizon.

It might be the influence of the necklace, and Wonwoo touches it before tucking it in his shirt with a smile.

When he gets there, he’s overcome with the urge to climb the cliff; so he does, and he allows himself to look up, sees the yellow moon grow smaller, the sun on its tail and painting the sky pink, mixing with purple and lined with yellow, slowly fending off the cold blue.

He breathes deep, maybe Wooseok was right. It was easier to breathe here.

He laughs, for the first time in a while he laughs –glad to be witnessing this spectacle of colors while he’s on top of the world.

The waves crash against the cliff softly, billows white against dark rock, and Wonwoo watches in fascination as it pulls off only to come back full force, the sound soft despite how hard it seems to fall.

Wonwoo’s surprised to find he doesn’t hate it.

It’s beautiful, actually, oddly familiar and comforting.

Just then, something catches Wonwoo’s eye.

The necklace somehow feels heavier all of a sudden, as something blue crosses his gaze, deep and distinct from the ocean’s purple mask.

He keeps his eyes on it, the way it circles around and comes back like it was trying to make sure of something, and Wonwoo stares in disbelief as the blue slowly morphs to gold.

Wonwoo’s heart aches, somehow he hears it say “ _I missed you, welcome home_.”

Suddenly, his nightmares flash in his mind, only they aren’t nightmares, because this time he sees the stars, and water dropping from his hair onto the chest of someone familiar; he sees a smile, and a tail, and a dozen flashing lights changing color before settling on gold.

A million little bursts of beautiful moments go through his mind, and he gasps. Finally the smoke in his head clears, the name whispered until it’s being yelled at the top of his lungs.

“Mingyu.”

Wonwoo practically stops breathing in surprise, his heartbeat picking up in the ardor of recognition.

A feeling of regret sweeps over him for letting time steal every memory they could’ve made together. For letting it steal his memory at all.

Taking a step forward, he breathes out shakily, gravity and wind working for him and pushing him towards the clear surface. Tears spring in his eyes, and he lets them build. He wraps his hand around the necklace and walks to the edge.

 

Wonwoo lets his tears fall first.

 

His heart follows.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> yes, mingyu's tail works like a mood ring :D
> 
> the colors mentioned in the fic are these:  
> -silver: his passive color  
> -orange: embarrassment  
> -purple: worry/fear  
> -pink: curiosity/confusion  
> -green: jealousy  
> -gold: happiness  
> -blue: sadness
> 
> mingyu's a happy person, so the only moment we see him turn blue was... you know. because he doesn't ever want him to be hurt. 
> 
> i enjoyed writing this so much, and if you've read up to here, i just want to give my deepest gratitude... thank you for giving my work a chance and taking your time to read it!!!
> 
> as usual, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated, even criticism as long as it's constructive, and i hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!!! 
> 
> reach me here:  
> cc: [shibamingyu](https://curiouscat.me/shibamingyu)  
> twt: [shiba_mingyu](https://twitter.com/shiba_mingyu)


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